Page 78 of Wolf Trap

“Yes.”

His words fired through me. I felt the same. Yes, blood magic brought us together, bonded. And I had hated that idea. But like him, now I couldn’t imagine being apart from him. Relief eased through me as I silently said a prayer of gratitude that the blood bond had been with Lycaon and not Marrock! That was lucky.

Outside the fadinglight danced through the bows of the trees. A cool wind swept lazily rustling the fallen leaves and the scent of Autumn was rich in the air.

Lycaon stoodbefore me like an eager puppy, wide eyed, expectant and ready to learn.

I shook out my hands,and he did the same puffing air as if I was going to order him to run around the woods.

Lycaon lifted his head slightly,his hair falling away from his face. Almost in a whisper, “Elsa, there’s just one question I want to ask before we start?”

A wicked grin on his lips, I answered him, wondering what the heck it could be. “Sure, fire away?”

Stepping towards me,his eyes glistened as he bent down pressing his lips to mine. Swooning, his passion sent a fire coursing through me. Locked in an embrace, I could feel his heart thudding, and my own and his earthy scent.

He pulled back,“I wasn’t really a question. I just needed that.”

My eyes fluttered,“I didn’t realise how much I needed that, too. Ok. I think I need to get you grounded. So I want you to take a few slow deep breaths.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He did, and I joined in. Immediately a calmness washed through me.

“Right,now I want you to keep breathing deeply whilst I talk you through a meditation. Just follow it as best you can. You can ask questions later, but for now just follow my words.”

Lycaon nodded, his face softer. He closed his eyes.

“Good. Now as you breathe in and out, from your belly I want you to become aware of your thoughts. Just notice them, don’t try to change them. Your thoughts come and go and change in seconds. They never linger, they’re like the clouds in the sky. Notice what’s happening in your mind… Now, notice your emotions, how they seem to swirl inside of you, good or bad and how they affect your thoughts. Emotions are like clouds, they come, then they go. Good.” I waited for a moment so that he could sink into the realisation. Taking a deep breath, I continued. “Now notice your body, feel your feet as you’re grounded to the earth. Feel the weight of your body under your feet and notice how your body changes. Throughout your life, your body changes, like thoughts and emotions, and sensations, it never stays the same. It’s always changing. Now I want you to notice your awareness, you are aware. And your awareness is the only thing that remains consistent. You are not the match that strikes the flint, nor the flame. You are the spark. You are the I, the I am. I consciousness. Notice from your awareness and sink back into it. Then stay there.”

I did the same.It was my favourite mediation. But the mind wants to be involved and chatter, and chatter. After a few minutes, I continued, “We’re enchanted by life, by thoughts, by sensations. We are awareness, and life holds us in a spell at times. Sink back into awareness.”

As we stood there,and I remembered learning this, my body relaxed. My breathing slowed and I wished we had more time to stay here.

“Ok, when you’re ready you can open your eyes.”

I didn’t watch him; the meditation is advanced and it can blow your mind when you first experience it. So I gave him a few minutes to relish it.

He went to speak, but I shook my head. “Not yet, but can you tell me, what is magic, I mean, how does it work? Have you ever considered that?”

“Not really.I mean I know it’s about manipulating energy?”

“Yes. It is energy, everything is energy. And you cannot un-create energy, that’s impossible. More specifically energy is molecules, inside which are atoms. You and I are made of atoms, and everything in the universe is made of atoms. Atoms are always moving. It’s only our limited perception that sees them as still. But it’s one thing to know this, it’s another to live it. And don’t worry, you're not expected to live in abstract thoughts to wield magic. But let those ideas sink into your mind. Play with them often.”

I wasn’t trying to give him an academic overview, or live like a monk, but, and I’ve found this at my peril, knowing how it works, knowing how and where we draw energy is fundamental. In time, when this understanding is embedded, it helps you control the energy. Mostly!

“To really harness magic,to know it you need to see it from the perspective of awareness. You’re not your body, that’s always changing. Like your thoughts, your sensations, your emotions, they’re always fluctuating. Passing by. Like the clouds, go on, look up.

If your thoughts, emotions, sensations and your body are never constant, always changing, like the clouds, then, what are we like?”

He stopped craning his neck, looking right at me. “Like the sky, we’re like the sky. Awareness?”

“Exactly. Once you practise this, and you’ll need to, you won’t see this as abstract. Because you’ll become it. So, are you ready to learn the basics now, the elements?”

Grinning, his lashes lowered. “I’ve got to say, I’m kind of surprised, that was very deep?”

Shrugging, I replied, “It is, and it isn’t. It takes time to make it normal, everyday. Once you can become really aware of being aware, you’ll not only realise that you’re not your not thoughts, emotions, you’ll understand that they don’t last. It’s more than dodging bullets, bullets won’t concern you. I mean that metaphorically!”

“You know,I’m sorry I judged you. I mean you saved my life but if I’d met you under different circumstances, I would’ve never have believed you were so spiritual, I mean at a deeper level.”

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