Page 32 of Canadian Boyfriend

“There’s the bedroom downs—”

“I can’t move into your house!”

“Hear me out, OK?” I took her silence as assent. “When I decided to go back to work, my shrink and I talked through how I could pull off this hockey season. On paper, the solution was to hire a live-in nanny, but we decided Olivia wasalready so volatile that introducing a stranger wasn’t a good idea. And to be honest, I wasn’t crazy about the idea. You may have noticed how I…” God, it was embarrassing. But she had to have noticed. To my ongoing surprise, she knew me better than anyone did, except maybe my mom. “I have trouble letting people into my life. Trusting them.”

“Yes,” she said, drawing the single syllable out warily.

“I’m on year one of a two-year contract right now. The plan was always…” Well, I didn’t have to tell her all that. “I’ve been telling myself we’ll muddle through this year with Laruen, then we’ll see what next year brings. But in the meantime, here’s this perfect confluence of factors. You need a place to live, and I need…” What did I need? To call her a nanny seemed wrong. “I need someone to help with Olivia. Lauren’s doing so much for us. I never imagined I’d be able to find someone else. Someone who knows us, someone whogetsus.”

“But… what about my jobs? I work three shifts a week at Starbucks, sometimes at night.”

I had thought about that. “You said you’re at Starbucks for the insurance. This would come with insurance.”

“What?”

“One of the perks of my job is that I can offer insurance to household employees,” I said, lying through my teeth. “And I’ll pay you whatever you want. Then all that’s left is the dance studio. Olivia’s already at your Tuesday-night class. Lauren can still drop her off there like we do already, so that’s sorted. It seems like all your other classes are on weekdays during the school day”—I had looked at the schedule in advance of this conversation—“except I think you teach one on Sunday afternoon?”

“Yes,” she said, still wary.

“Maybe Olivia can switch from Saturdays to Sundays. Orshe goes to Lauren’s on Sundays when I’m away and you’re teaching. As it is, this will be so much less commitment for Lauren.”

“I actually just got offered some more classes at the studio because Riley is leaving.” Riley was Olivia’s Saturday teacher. “Maybe I could… pick up that Saturday class and drop my Sunday one.”

She sounded tentative, as if she were trying out a language she wasn’t fully proficient in. “I don’t want you to change your teaching schedule on our account.”

“You’ve probably noticed that Riley hasn’t been the most reliable.” I had. I didn’t expect anyone else to be as good a teacher as Aurora, but Riley wasn’t even there half the time. “Gretchen fired her, but don’t tell any of the other parents that. She offered me her classes. They’re mostly during the day, because they’re for little kids who aren’t in school yet, so that wouldn’t conflict with anything Oliviawise, and there’s that one Saturday class…”

“I sense abuthere.”

“But Riley’s classes are ballet.”

“And you don’t teach ballet,” I said, because I somehow knew, even though I hadn’t heard the failed-ballerina story yet.

“I don’t teach ballet,” she confirmed.

“You don’t need to, because I’ll pay you enough that—”

“I can’t just move into your—”

We’d been speaking over each other. Normally I would have let her go first, but I pressed on because Ineededher. Well, no.Livneeded her. Maybe I should have led with that. “I talked to Olivia about this, by the way, she loves the idea.” I’d called the school, in fact, and had them pull her from class so I could ask for her thoughts. “There’s a spare bedroom upstairs, but Iwas thinking you might rather be in the basement—which you know isn’t really a basement, as it walks out to the lake. You can have the whole level. Forget how it’s arranged now. The bones of it are a bedroom, bathroom, living area, and there’s that kitchenette. It’s not a full kitchen, but there’s a minifridge and a microwave. When I’m home, you’re off duty. I mean, you’d be welcome to eat with us or use the main house whenever.” The image of Aurora at the breakfast table in her pajamas popped into my head. I shoved it away. “The gig is only weekends and evenings when I’m gone, is what I’m trying to say. And when the team isn’t on the road, I’m at the training facility most of the time during the day, so I wouldn’t be in your way.” I rested my case and took a breath. “There is Earl 9, of course,” I said, belatedly thinking about dog logistics. “He doesn’t need walking. Walking around the house is a lot for his front legs. And he’s geriatric. But he does have to be let out, and—”

“Mike.” The way she said my name with a heaviness, an emphasis, was… interesting. “I really appreciate this, but I don’t want to feel like a kept woman. It’s too generous. I’m sorry, but—”

Huh? I’d come to understand that Aurora didn’t want to feel indebted to anyone. But a kept woman? “That doesn’t make any sense. This is ajob.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Do you remember the time I came home unexpectedly and you guys were dancing in the kitchen? To ‘We Got the Beat’?” I had since learned the name of that song, and that the studio’s upcoming recital was going to be Go-Go’s themed. As a result, Olivia had them on constant rotation.

“Yes,” Aurora said warily. I’d taken her off guard. I’d takenmyselfoff guard.

“I actually came in earlier. Before you saw me. I watchedyou.” I winced. “I’m aware this makes me sound like a weirdo. I just… I hadn’t seen Olivia like that for so long. She washappy. I can’t ever seem to give that to her.” Aww shit, my voice had gone all wavery. Still, I pressed on. “But you can.”

I kind of felt like maybe Aurora could make me happy, too. Or at least that being around her bright-thing energy might make me feel less bad. And less bad? I would take it.

There was a long pause. I shouldn’t have said the stuff about watching them dance. It was creepy, and now I was allYou’re the only person in the world who can bring my daughter joy.

“All right,” she finally said, and it felt like a million pounds of weight slid off my shoulders as easily as a puck sliding down freshly flooded ice. “But you’re not paying me. I’ll take the extra classes at the studio, and the insurance will allow me to quit Starbucks. And with no housing costs—and no car costs; don’t forget you’ve already given me a car—I’ll be way ahead. I might even finally get my student loans paid off.”

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