Page 45 of Canadian Boyfriend

“Yeah,” I said. “It was that piece-of-crap stand we had.”

“It’s funny how sometimes things that seem like they’re bad at the time end up making the best memories.”

“You’re right.” That was actually pretty profound. “Remember the time we were camping in Manitoba and we got all the way to the campsite and realized we’d forgotten the tent and had to drive two hours back to Nana and Pop’s?”

“Yes! But then we pitched the tent and camped in their yard! Mom didn’t want to. She said she couldn’t sleep on the ground when there was a bed inside calling to her, and you went and got the mattress from your bed from when you were a kid andput it in the tent!”

“Yeah, that was pretty great.” Olivia had been astonished by that. Sarah, too. “Does this make you miss Mom?” I asked tentatively as I gestured to the tree, trying to follow Dr. Mursal’s advice that when Olivia brought up Sarah and seemed to want to talk about her, I should run with it.

“Yeah, but I knew it would.”

“Does knowing ahead of time make a difference?”

“Yeah. I can handle it better if I can prepare myself.”

“That makes sense.” My girl was a philosopher today.

“Also, I know you get it.”

Well. I’d been paid a lot of compliments in my day, most of them to do with my skills on the ice. None had ever hit quite like that one.

“Grandma and Grandpa are going to want to talk about her twenty-four seven when I’m at their house.”

They were. I didn’t want to poison Olivia’s relationship with her grandparents, but they could be such assholes, subtly implying it was my fault Sarah was dead. I could take it, but I didn’t want Olivia subjected to any of that.

“You think we should invite Rory up to see the tree?” Olivia asked before I figured out what to say.

I’d thought about inviting Aurora to join us for the decorating but hadn’t because I hadn’t been sure how it was going to go. “Do you want to?”

“Yeah.”

“Me, too.”

We did a lot of things differently over the next few days. We skipped the team party. I asked Olivia if she wanted to go, and when she said no, I made our excuses. We spent most of our time bumming around, sometimes the two of us, sometimes with Aurora. We went skating. We watched movies. We made pie, which was something Aurora and Liv had experimented with while I’d been on the road.

It was all actually pretty great. In past years we’d’ve spent this time running errands, going to parties, dropping off gifts. I was digging the quiet, homebody vibe of this holiday, and I think Olivia was, too, as she stayed in a good mood.

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, we were planning to walk across the lake to Ivan and Lauren’s. “Hey,” Olivia said when Aurora came up to the kitchen to see us off. “Am I going to see you before I leave?”

“Good point,” I said. Aurora was going to her mother’s and staying over, and Sarah’s parents were due here to pick up Olivia at noon tomorrow.

“You will,” Aurora said. “I’m not going to my mom’s tonight after all.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“My therapist suggested that since I actually dislike spending Christmas with my mother that I just… not do it.” She shook her hands like what she was saying was crazy.

I loved that Aurora had started therapy. I was aware that I had the zeal of a convert when it came to sitting down with a professional and talking about your shit, but damn, it really worked. It wasn’t that I thought Aurora was broken or anything, just that we all had our demons and now that I’dhad a glimpse of hers, I was glad she was working on taming them.

“Not going at all seemed extreme to me,” she went on. “So I decided on Christmas Day only. I’m going over there tomorrow at three for an abbreviated visit. I don’t think she minded. Maybe my mom doesn’t like spending time with me any more than I like spending time with her.” She made a face that was supposed to be goofy but fell short.

I tried to smile back, to play along, but really, there wasn’t anything funny about a parent not wanting to spend time with her kid. I couldn’t imagine it, though as was well established, I was a kid person. I glanced at Olivia, who was staring at Aurora with her mouth hanging open. She couldn’t imagine it, either. At least I was doing something right.

Olivia and I tried to convince Aurora to come with us. It was as if we’d entered into an unspoken agreement to try to ease the shitty-mom situation. Aurora wasn’t having it, insisting that she was looking forward to a cozy night watching Christmas movies and would see us when we got home.

Liv and I had fun at Lauren and Ivan’s, stuffing ourselves with dinner and exchanging gifts. When we tromped back across the lake, our bellies full and our spirits as high as they’d been in a long time, Aurora was, as promised, still up.

“I have a present for you,” Olivia said to Aurora, who raised her eyebrows at me.

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