Page 63 of Canadian Boyfriend

The closer we got to home, the more the past few days began to feel like a dream from another life. That time Aurora kissed me by the Christmas tree. That other time she smiled at me with vampire teeth. Did all that happen to me or to some shadow, alternate-universe version of me?

“Is Rory home?” Olivia asked after she reunited with Earl 9.

“I think she’s downstairs.” I could tell by Olivia’s puppy-dog face that she wanted to see Aurora. I’d been expecting Aurora to emerge to welcome Olivia, but perhaps she was taking some of that distance I’d been thinking we needed. “Sorry, kiddo. We have to respect her privacy. You’ll see her soon enough.”

Liv performed an exaggeratedly resigned sigh.

I understood.

Dr. Mursal told me, early on, that some people have trouble with “firsts” after the death of a loved one. First time the departed’s birthday rolls around, first Christmas, and so on. Historically we had spent Christmas at our place but with Sarah’s parents visiting, then we’d fly to Manitoba on Boxing Day for a quick visit. It was always a whirlwind as we attempted to cram all the visiting into the few days I had off. Stefan and Renata obviously weren’t with us this year, and I’d told my parents that Liv and I would take a pass on the Canada visit. I wanted her to have some downtime at home after her Chicago trip, which I hadn’t expected to go as well as it had. So all in all, it had been a low-key Christmas.

New Year’s Eve, by contrast, Liv and Sarah had alwaysspent at home, and I would join them when I didn’t have an away game. The vibe was always relaxed. We were glad to be together, glad to be done with the bustle of the holiday. Though of course I, newly acquainted with the work involved in pulling off Christmas, now knew how much gladder Sarah had probably been.

This year, armed with Dr. Mursal’s warning, I’d thought New Year’s might be hard. Christmas hadn’t been, at least after Olivia and I had our little breakthrough—though I was aware the ease of Christmas for me might have been directly proportional to the amount of kissing that had occurred after Olivia left town.

So maybe my grief reprieve was about to be over? I was braced for melancholy, is the point.

There wasn’t really time to be sad, though. Mostly because we had an afternoon game, and by the time I got home, I had to get right into party prep mode because Ivan and Lauren were coming over for a late dinner and skating.

“I’m going to change, but can I help you with anything before I do?” Aurora asked, wandering into the kitchen.

“I’m good, thanks,” I said as I plopped some spinach dip into a bowl. “You’re bringing Gretchen back here later, right?” Aurora and Gretchen apparently had a tradition of going out to an early dinner on New Year’s Eve, then having a sleepover. I’d encouraged them to do part two of the tradition here. I wanted Aurora to feel like this was her home, too.

Also, I just wanted her around.

Even if we weren’t kissing anymore.

It was confusing.

“Yeah, if that’s still OK,” Aurora said.

“Of course. We’re going skating later even though it’s freezing. Tell Gretchen to bring her skates.”

“Great. And actually…” She lowered her voice. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?”

“Gretchen doesn’t know about the making out,” she whispered.

Ah. “Noted.” It made sense that Aurora didn’t want our “temporary Christmas insanity,” to use her phrase, to bleed into her life any more than I wanted it to bleed into mine.

“No offense, I just…”

“None taken. I get it,” I said.

Because I did.

Right?

A bit later, Olivia called me into the den, where she was watching TV with Aurora. It was novel to see Aurora so dressed up. Well, she’d been dressed up for Christmas with her mother, but that had been a formal sort of dressed up. Which I realize makes no sense, asformalanddressed upmean the same thing. But today she was wild-fancy instead of formal-fancy. She had on a flowy dress printed with little flowers. It only came to her knees, and she was wearing purple tights that matched the flowers. The ballet bun had been replaced by some kind of updo consisting of pinned-up braids, but they were loose braids that looked like they might fall apart at any moment. And even though I’d appreciated the scarlet lips of Christmas, Ialsoappreciated their current glossy pink incarnation.

She looked like her hippie name. Aurora Lake going out for New Year’s Eve.

Realizing I’d been staring at her, I turned my attention to the TV. “Full House? What happened toLittle House?”

“This is theFull HouseNew Year’s episode,” Aurora said, her amused gaze meeting mine.

Lauren and Ivan arrived a few minutes later, and we allwatched the Tanners ring in the New Year with kisses. One of the little Olsen twins even got to kiss the dog. “There’s a lot of kissing in this episode,” I said. I didn’t mean anything by it, but as soon as it was out, I had to laugh at myself. I’d called an end to kissing, but now everyone on TV was smooshing their faces together.

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