Page 66 of Peach Tree Family

That night, after Ace was in bed, Seth planned to escape to his bedroom, but Theo didn't let him.

"Let's go out on the porch," Theo told him then went out without checking that Seth followed.

He did and then he waited for Theo to say his peace. It was cold out and the porch light lit up Theo's hair. Seth longed to touch it, and then touch more of him, so he dragged his eyes away and just stared at the moonlit trees and shrubs, their branches mostly bare. Any day now spring would turn everything out there green, but he wouldn't be standing on this porch and seeing it.

He heard Theo take in a deep breath and knew he was about to speak.

"When I told Ace that you were going to look for your parents, I felt like I was telling him a lie. Why is that?" Theo turned a pair of sharp, beautiful eyes on him, and Seth had to lower his gaze. Theo took that as an answer though Seth didn't mean it to be. "So the job and going to look for your parents – that's not the real reason you're leaving."

"I never planned to stay, you know that," Seth said.

"I noticed how uncomfortable you've been around me. You've been avoiding me, like you suddenly don't like sharing space with a gay guy."

Seth couldn't believe what he was saying. "That's not true."

"So you like it?" Theo asked stepping up to him provocatively, like he expected Seth to step back. "You said before you didn't know how to act around me. That means I make you uncomfortable."

"No." That's all Seth managed to say. With Theo standing so close, he couldn't think. He had to turn his eyes away.

"You told me a bunch of lies, and now you can't even look at me," Theo accused him.

"I can look at you." But as Seth's eyes returned to Theo's face, he found that wasn't as easy as he thought. There was a catch in his throat and he couldn't swallow. His breathing wanted to speed up but he didn't let it.

"Theo," he whispered and watched his jaw clench.

Theo thought he didn't want to be around him, and even if Seth was leaving for good, he didn't want him thinking that. He didn't know how to prove to him it wasn't true because he had been avoiding him lately. He was used to people believing the worst about him, but from Theo it hurt worse than anything.

He had to take away the accusing look from Theo's eyes though.

What could he say? Even at his best he had trouble explaining himself, and the way he felt right now, he couldn't think more than two words at a time.

"You make me feel things I don't understand," he admitted.

"And that's why you're running away from me," Theo said.

"It's not. I just... I have to live my own life, not yours," Seth told him, and watched Theo shut his eyes tight like he couldn't stand to look at him another second.

"Do what you want," he said and turned to go inside.

Seth reached his hand to stop him, but he was too slow. Theo was gone.

Feeling the night and the cold gather around him, Seth hung his head. He wanted to tell Theo that he liked the life he had here. If he had a job, he would love it here. But he was depending on Theo for everything, and soon his money would run out and he wouldn't even be able to chip in for food. That was no way for him to live.

In the end, he couldn't make Theo understand, but maybe that's just how it had to be. Maybe there was no good way to leave.

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