Page 56 of A Chance to Believe

She flinched. ‘Parents and a sister. They don’t want to be in touch. Brian was their golden boy. I’m only a reminder of what they lost.’

‘So you have been pretty much alone, in terms of family?’

‘There’s Tess and my aunt and uncle. Tess is here, but her parents retired to Bialga.’

‘What about Michael Long?’

‘It’s only a distant thing. There was a lot of acrimony over my dad’s divorce from his mother. He came to the funeral, but his mother didn’t.’

He thought about it for a moment. ‘I guess that’s something I can offer you. I’m over-endowed with family.’

‘They’ve been very kind. I didn’t expect that.’

‘Even Kimberley?’

She snorted. ‘It took a while. I think what convinced her to accept me was the thought that she would move away next year and leave you all alone. She figured better the devil she knows rather than you hauling your lonely self down to the pub for a hook-up and getting caught by a stranger.’

‘It might just happen. You’ll have to save me from that dreadful fate.’

She dumped the half empty plate back on the tray. ‘You don’t really get it, do you? I don’t want to take the risk of caring. It hurts too much.’

His chest tightened. ‘Do you think you could care? For us … me, I mean.’

Her mouth curled up at one corner. ‘You’re a pretty good guy. A good lay. Decent father. What’s not to like?’

‘But it’s too much of a risk. What about the babies? Will you love them?’

‘I already do.’ She splayed her fingers over her belly. ‘I know they’re at risk, but I can’t not love them.’

‘But you choose not to love anyone else. That’s not rational. It’s not even possible.’

‘I love Tess.’ She lifted her hands to her face, covering the lower half. ‘I think I’m scared. Scared to take things further, deeper.’

‘You’re going to have the occasional affair and then wave them goodbye so you don’t get involved? That’s not much of a life. Not much of a life for your children.’

Colour leeched from her face. ‘I don’t. I wouldn’t. You, us. That was the first time since Brian passed away.’

He shouldn’t feel good about that, but his heart grew about three sizes larger. Not that he’d ever been a grinch, but he’d been protecting himself too, until Cassie. It had been damned hard to walk away. ‘Why me?’

‘It was so physical. It didn’t scare me the way anything sentimental might have done. I hadn’t felt it before. Ever. Not even with Brian. With him, it sort of grew. There was none of the instantaneous combustion.’

It had been something he’d never experienced before as well. ‘We were good together, and not only in bed.’

‘Bathroom, wardrobe, table, wall.’

A laugh tumbled out of him, unexpected. ‘That too. I was thinking more about the times we weren’t having sex. We didn’t agree on everything, but it was damn close. It was the best time I’ve ever had with a woman. Certainly the first time I wasn’t relieved to get up in the morning and walk away.’

Her hands dropped to her thighs, her fingers kneading the muscle. ‘Was it really like that for you, too?’

‘It was only the city thing that stopped me from inviting you back here for a visit. I find myself even willing to compromise a little. There could be opportunities to get away if you feel the need to head for the bright lights. I could come with you. Just for a week or two at a time. Maybe longer, depending on what time of year.’

‘You’d do that, for me, if I was missing the city?’

‘I want you to be happy. I think …’ he paused to try and formulate the words. ‘I think that would make me happy as well.’

He wasn’t going with the love words. Any expression of feeling might frighten her away. Love had hit her hard, and she was still feeling the pain. She had been lonely for a long time, he guessed. Maybe that was why she’d fallen into his arms so quickly. But she’d stayed. Let him stay. She could have turfed him out the next morning, but they’d settled in like old lovers. If old lovers were so keen to make love every chance they had. There’d been plenty of breaks, of course. She’d had her work to do and he’d attended his events. But neither had lingered elsewhere, to his knowledge. Every spare moment had been spent together.

‘I assumed you were a model, but that’s not it, is it? What were you doing at the fashion parade?’

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