Page 79 of My Instant Karma

During the last healing session, my heart raced the entire time he had his hands on me. I’m only now regaining my normal heartbeat.

After I rinse in the shower, I dry off and wrap a towel around my body. I stare into the mirror. This isn’t the same woman I stared at yesterday. It isn’t just Dante’s interest in me, I have shifted my perception of myself. The book also convinced me to let go of past traumas, and I want to change my patterns.

I open my third eye and look at myself again. I’m glowing. I have never glowed like this before.

I’m able to look past my imperfections and see them as part of me rather than flaws. The scars are part of my story—the good and bad. I have a couple good ones, like the one from riding a bike for the first time when I learned a value lesson—pay attention.

I need to pay attention now. That means listening to everything that’s said in my meeting with the guys and paying attention to what feels right and wrong. I have to trust my instincts. All of this is too important to mess up. If Karma knows I’m working against her, she will retaliate. She might allow my past to catch up to me again, and I might not survive this time.

I still have no guarantee I can trust the guys, but in life, there are no absolutes. They could switch teams at any point.

And Dante? Well, I need to move beyond my past. I like him, and he likes me. If I don’t begin to put myself out there and see what becomes of us, then all my abusers have won. Maybe we will both realize we just need each other for today, but tomorrow might be different.

Karma is coming soon, and dread washes over me at the thought. We might not have a chance at much happiness anyway. It’s the same even without our particular situation. Life is fleeting, and love is complicated.

Goddess,love?Do I love Dante? I won’t know until I allow myself to feel. However, I will regret it if Karma harms Dante or any of them because of me.

I shake off my worries. I have to keep moving forward. I can only be certain of my uncertainties, so I brush my teeth and untangle my wet hair.

Opening the door, Dante steps out of the way and bows. “All clear, my queen.”

“I’m glad you recognize that I’m no princess.”

“I would never call you that!” He waves the idea off like a pesky gnat. “Perish the thought!”

Kurtis peeks his head out of his room. “I wouldn’t either. Although, Iwillstill call you precious, precious.”

As I walk by, I palm his entire face. “Shush now.”

Kurtis knocks my hand away. “Well, you might not like the other names I could call you.”

“I don’t think you’d like what I’d do if I don’t like them.” I wink with just a touch of deviousness.

He looks a bit worried about our banter. “Gulp! Noted.”

“I’ll be ready in five.” I slip into my room to change, leaving Dante to chat with Kurtis.

* * *

No one is home, so we all walk over to the warded circle in the next lot together. Dante appears overly cautious about my ability to walk.

I bat his hand away. “I’m mostly recovered.”

Once we enter the circle, Evan says, “I hope we can all trust each other now.”

“I do too,” I agree.

Kurtis frowns. “So why did you call this meeting? To blast our asses for the crap we pulled last night?”

“I suppose that’s still on the table, but no, we need to open ourselves up to the belief that we are all being honest. I had a revelation and wanted to run it by you to make sure I’m not completely out of my mind.”

“We probably aren’t your best gauges of insanity.” Kurtis points at himself and the guys.

“Probably not, but you’re all I have at the moment.”

Kurtis shrugs. “I’m nothing if not convenient.”

Evan rolls his eyes. “Can we get to the big revelation, which might change our lives or kill us?”

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