Page 32 of Sanctuary

Mirri laughed in surprise. Then he kissed me again. Then he groaned, pulling back and putting even more distance between us. "No. I…Kat, I would love to join you. But I don't think we should take this any further right now. I want the chance to be your mate in every sense, not just this tentative partnership we've managed so far. But…it's been a long day. You were nearly murdered. And I'm still feeling raw after everything with my parents. I don't want either of us to have any regrets about completing our bond."

I wanted to protest, to insist that none of that mattered. But Mirri was right. If we made love now, it would only strengthen the mating bond between us, settle it completely into place. And while I was pretty sure I didn't mind that at all…what if he was right? What if that was just my mixed-up emotions talking? I didn't think I would ever regret getting closer to Mirri. But what if Mirri regretted it? What if I ended up taking advantage of him being distraught over the incident with his parents? No. I would never do that to him. That I would regret.

If we went further right now, we would both always wonder if the other person had truly wanted this, or if we'd taken advantage of their emotional state. I didn't want that doubt to exist between us. So, I reluctantly released him. "I both love and hate how perceptive and considerate you are," I said flatly.

He chuckled and reached out to stroke my fuzzy, tangled hair back from my face with a wry smile. "I know. Believe me. I feel the same way most of the time myself." He sighed. "Thank you. For what you did with my parents. I…I should have stood up to them more. And much sooner. But I'm relieved, knowing that they can't show up again and try to use me. So, thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

I nodded. "If they ever come back, I'll kill them myself," I said fiercely, like some wild unhinged forest nymph.

He arched his brows. "I never would have thought you could be so bloodthirsty, my pretty mate."

I shrugged. "I try to be nice. And I'm only lowborn, so I don't have much magic to back it up. But I swear to you, if anyone goes after the people I care about, I will find a way to defend them."

He kissed me again then, a chaste brush of his lips against mine. "You aren't the only one who feels that way," he promised. Then Mirri bowed to me and left me alone in my room, wondering if I should have tried a little harder to get him naked.

Mirri wanted to complete our mate bond. My heart swelled with joy, giving me the energy I needed to go get cleaned up before I collapsed into bed for a much-needed nap.

I just hoped he didn't change his mind tomorrow, once he'd had some time to clear his head.

Chapter 18

After I cleaned up and dressed, I felt a little more grounded, though I still wasn't ready to face the conversation I knew I had to have next. I sent word requesting that my mates meet me in Steel's borrowed room. We needed to discuss the attack and what it meant for our future.

The male in question was still looking a bit wan, but he seemed steadier since he'd had the opportunity to rest awhile. He attempted to rise when we entered the room, but I waved him back down. He settled for sitting with his back against the headboard of his bed, his keen gray eyes watching us, but his expression giving away nothing.

"Let's get right to it," I said, ready to just get this all over with. "Why are you here?"

He didn't crack jokes or tell me he was here because I'd hauled him home with me, the way I might have in his place. This male was nothing but serious. "I was assigned to watch you, Lady Katrina. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to foil the attack today. I underestimated the assailant. It was an unforgiveable error on my part."

I waved that away. "How long have you been lurking around here watching for trouble? Have you been here ever since we returned, or did the queen identify some new threat just recently?"

He took a breath, paused, then let it out before answering. "I have been on this assignment for two years, personally. Though there are others who have been at it longer." He gave me a sad half smile. "The Queen's Hands have been watching over you ever since you became steward."

I just stared at him. That long? But…why?

Bach spoke, his deep voice grim. "She was concerned for Katrina's safety from the beginning, then."

He exchanged a long, meaningful look with Steel. "Yes, my lord," Steel replied evenly.

Bach let out a sigh and shook his head. "And this is news to you?" He asked, glancing at me. At my nod, he turned his growing glare on Steel once more. "No one ever thought to tell her that her life was in danger?"

Steel shifted uncomfortably. "It was part of the queen's orders. We were to watch over her, but not interfere with her life. There was no decisive evidence that the suspicions regarding Lady Rose's death were correct. We didn't want any potential threats to know we were here. And I believe the king and queen wanted their new steward to be able to focus on settling into her duties, rather than being distracted or living in fear because of their unproven suspicions."

I shook my head as his words and his meaning sank in. "Lady Rose died in an accident. She encountered a stray herd of fire lizards…." The words dried up in my mouth. Fae were long-lived, but we did have accidents. And though it was relatively rare for a highborn, sometimes people fell to the dangerous creatures who shared our country. I had raged against the suddenness and the pointlessness of losing my stepmother. But I had never suspected that her death wasn't just what it seemed to be, a freak accident of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Steel gave me a pitying look, and I hated it. "The investigation was inconclusive. But the king and queen believed that the fire lizards were directed to intercept your stepmother that day. And it was implied, by the queen and several of the investigators, that Lady Rose should have been powerful enough to escape harm."

I ran a hand over my face, then straightened up and nodded. He was right. My stepmother had possessed extremely strong air magic. She was a highborn with a hardy constitution, and she had possessed a quick mind. The chances of her escaping a herd of fire lizards were quite high. But it seemed like a difficult thing to prove. For one thing, enraging a giant lizard and then controlling its trajectory so that it arrived at precisely the right place at the right time would be a very difficult undertaking. That kind of thing would require strong magic, or the ability to buy it, which was out of the realm of possibility for nearly anyone in Elfhaven.

I forced myself to push on and not get caught up in speculations over what had happened or in renewed grief over her loss. Instead, I focused on more pertinent questions. "So, someone has been trying to kill me the entire time I've been steward? How did I never notice?"

Steel shook his head. "There have only been a few times over the years when one of us needed to intervene to keep you safe. And each time appeared to be an entirely innocent accident. It has never been blatantly obvious that anyone was trying to do you harm. Until today."

"They've escalated," Adder said in a cool voice that sent chills down my spine. "They failed to get what they wanted when they killed the previous steward, and they probably wanted to avoid suspicion. Maybe they made a few half-hearted attempts since then, but nothing serious. But now things are changing in Larkwood, and they've renewed their interest in eliminating the steward."

I met his dark blue eyes and threw my hands up in the air. "But why? What is the point of…oh." I was a good steward to my people. But I had never been much for political games and petty bullshit. So it took me far too long to realize what was going on. "Someone wants to be steward. They didn't know Rose had named me as her heir. I didn't even know that at the time. I thought she was grooming me, yes, but I didn't know she had made it official with the king and queen. And to everyone else, it might have just looked like she was humoring her dead husband's child by letting me follow her everywhere. Everyone probably assumed the stewardship would go to someone older and more experienced, someone appointed by the king and queen from the local nobles."

Mirri put a comforting hand on my shoulder as Bach spoke again. "It might not even be that direct," he mused. "It's also possible that whoever is behind this doesn't want the stewardship for themselves. They may be trying to get someone else appointed—someone with ideas or connections that would help this person succeed in business or trade, something like that."

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