Page 11 of House of Kallan
I was married to my work and not ashamed to admit it. As soon as Sarah and Denver had presented the proposition of Haven to me, it felt as if everything inside me aligned to saythis is what we’re meant to do.It felt good to teach these abused and tortured women that not all monsters are, uh, monsters, I guess. The sense of right I felt when I saw a moment like Lydia accepting her baby filled me with warmth and happiness.
And then events like Sadie’s just tore my heart out. I wasn’t sure if she’d ever bond with her child. That fear was too vast. I acted on instinct to restore her life, but in hindsight, it might have been a kindness to let her die. Now she was going to live in fear of the being that she birthed. She was going to dream about that death over and over again; not to mention the incidents that put her in that position to begin with.
Sometimes, I thought death might be the kinder option for these traumatized women. But they were not always in a state of mind that I felt I could ask them whether they’d prefer to live or die. I had to make the split-second decision, and it was usually that they needed to have another chance at living. They didn’t deserve what they’d been forced into, and while none of that was my responsibility to make right, Iwantedto help. I wanted to atone for the crimes committed by someone from my world, sowhen they eventually died of hopefully natural causes, it wasn’t in fear of the supernatural.
I yawned as I stepped into my house and dropped my keys into the bowl by the door. Locking up behind me, I headed straight for my shower. I never knew what I came home covered in. It was far too disturbing to think about.
Sometimes, I simply threw my clothes away.
The water was hot and fell over me long after I’d washed. I needed the warmth to push out the chill in my bones, put there by the new horrors presented to me tonight. Not for the first time, I wondered who thought up these things? How sick was their mind? What made them this way?
These were the thoughts that slowly moved through my mind as I climbed into bed and curled up in the sheets. Another yawn consumed me as I closed my eyes. The sight of Tyrus holding the possibly demonic newborn flitted before my eyes and I smiled.
I guessed it wasn’t all bad. A crazy demon had a soft side for a newborn that had been a complete stranger to him. His absolute adoration as he stared was what I needed everyone we brought into Haven to see.
Thiswas a monster. A very dark and I thought slightly unhinged monster. He was the thing of nightmares, materializing from shadows. But look at how soft he was.Thiswas what was normal in a supernatural being.Thiswas normal behavior.
Not those who did this to these poor women.
But I was afraid that it wouldn’t matter what they saw. Their psyches had already been imprinted with terror for the supernatural. No matter how much I wanted to change that, I wasn’t sure I ever could.
Tatum
Most daysat Haven felt much the same; like I was on repeat for everything. It wasn’t all bad moments like the one with Sadie and her infant.
When I knocked on Lydia’s door and pushed it open, I was relieved to find her sitting in a chair with her baby in her arms. There was even a tentacle out and wrapped around one of Lydia’s fingers.
The relief that filled me upon seeing this was absolute. It was moments like this I wanted to see more of.
Lydia looked up at me and smiled.
I always made it clear I was not like them. While I was of the same make as those who did this to them—meaning I was not human—I felt it was important to have honesty because even more damage could be done if they were here under the pretense of a lie. I’d made it policy that anyone working at Haven answered questions about ourselves. Not personal questions, but those relating to our species.
These damaged women needed the truth. To see that we showed them genuine kindness and compassionandthat we were supernatural would go a long way.
In theory. So far, in practice, it was working outokay. Therewere some women that didn’t like it and made sure they told us. Loudly and like assholes. Yet, I couldn’t really get mad. I couldn’t fathom what they’d already been through.
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I stepped into the room.
Lydia nodded and looked down at her baby. “I’m feeling really good.” She paused. “I think he is too.”
“That’s great to hear,” I said as I approached and sat in the chair perpendicular to hers. “I’m glad to see you’re bonding with your son.”
She sighed. “I’m still a little frightened,” Lydia confessed, and then looked at me sheepishly. “But I love him too.” She laughed and closed her eyes. “It’s so weird.”
“Why?”
Lydia shook her head. “Because he’s a reminder of what I went through. Of how he came to be. But… he’s mine. I made him.”
“He is and you did,” I said. “And you did a good job.”
She smiled again and bowed her head. “I think he likes me,” she whispered.
“He loves you,” I said. “Monsters aren’t all that different from humans. Believe it or not, there are just as many horrific acts in your world history. Things that would never occur to normal people like you and me.”
Lydia snorted. “I sometimes wonder how they even thought to do this stuff. Like, how did they decide to grow tentacles with teeth? But it’s not just deciding it.They made it happen.It’s kind of mind blowing, isn’t it?”
“Very. I’m constantly shocked at the newborns. We try really hard not to sing the praises of the crazies behind this, especially considering what they did to see their experiments take life, but… they’ve created so many new species and it’s just flabbergasting,” I said.
