Page 45 of House of Kallan
Eventually I opened my eyes again to find that the bed was empty, though I was tucked in securely. As I was contemplating getting up, Aden stepped back into the room and gave me a bemused smile.
“I was unanimously chosen to make sure you don’t wake up alone,” he said as he climbed back into bed with me. “Curious that they chose me for this task, no?”
I laughed and rolled onto my side to face him, and we mirrored each other with the blankets tucked up under our necks. “Hi,” I said.
Aden grinned. “Hi.”
“They didn’t want you to cook this morning, huh?”
He shrugged. “For Toby and Cobalt, it was a very clear internal debate. They all like my cooking, but I’m pretty sure Toby and Cobalt are my biggest fans.”
“As they should be.”
Aden smiled again. “Well, what would you like to talk about until we’re summoned to eat? Honestly, I could get used to being waited on like this. Just lounge around all day.”
I laughed. “I think you’d be too bored.”
He nodded. “No, really. I would be.”
“Have you ever held a job, or have you always been a kept man?” I asked. I’d meant the question to be light and conversational. Aden laughed initially, but then his expressionsobered. The smile slowly fading away until I was left facing a very dark look reflected at me in his eyes.
“I come from…” he trailed off. His eyes flickered to mine, and he gave me a smile before rolling over and picking up his phone. I watched as he texted and then dropped it again, returning to his spot. “Hold on a second.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” I said.
Aden’s smile was small and not at all genuine. “It’s not that.”
Hawthorn stepped into the room and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I need you to hug me, please,” Aden said.
Hawthorn didn’t ask questions. He kicked off his slippers and crawled back into bed behind Aden, wrapping Aden in his arms from behind. I watched as he kissed Aden’s shoulder and then pressed his face into the back of Aden’s head.
Aden smiled shyly at me. He took a deep breath, and I could visibly see him gathering his courage and determination to tell me a story.
“I come from a small town in the Deep South. The Bible Belt of the US. It’s all southern hospitality and good times. Families that have grown together for generations. Growing up, I didn’t recognize the things ‘we don’t speak about’ for what they were until I was one of those things. I mistakenly felt secure and safe. I felt loved and accepted, even for my slight peculiarities. When I was thirteen and realized that I like men more than women, I told my family. I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal. I was obviously naïve. When I didn’t get a big reaction from them, I interpreted that to mean it was fine. No one cared.”
He met my eyes. “People cared a lot. The bullying began right away. Best friends I’d had my entire life turned on me. They were the first to hit me. I was so confused and so hurt that I didn’t even fight back. It didn’t make sense. I was the same person, so why did it matter now that I put into words what had always been the case, just unspoken? For the next two years, I came home battered and bleeding more often than not. It wasn’tjust the physical abuse, but the verbal. My parents did nothing about it. It was when I started my sophomore year of high school, and my parents didn’t buy me new clothes or all the required school supplies like they did my siblings, that I realized the truth of my situation. They didn’t care. They didn’t want me. They didn’t love me anymore. They couldn’t accept that I was gay.”
“Aden?” I asked, and his gaze turned up once more. “I have to ask because it’s pretty pertinent to this situation. Are you gay?” That would change things a lot.
He smiled, but I could still see the darkness in his eyes as his past hung around us like a ghost. “I’m bisexual,” he said. “But, I’m gayer than not.”
Hawthorn chuckled.
“If we’re looking at a grayscale where black is the gayest you can be and white is straighter than a level, I’m definitely charcoal.” I laughed at his analogy. “I appreciate women, and think they’re beautiful. But it’s not often that I’m actually attracted to one enough to say so. Then you add on top of that I’m demisexual too,especiallywhen it comes to women, and it makes it far too complicated to understand for those who care enough to ask. It’s simpler to say I’m gay.”
“In the world of supernaturals, sexuality isn’t much of a topic at all,” I told him. “We love who we love.”
He smiled. “So I’ve been told. Your world is beyond humans in that respect.”
I squeezed his hand. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Aden shook his head. “It’s okay.” He paused for a minute, and I swear I could see the dark cloud descend around him again. “Well, let’s just say high school was a disaster. By seventeen, I’d tried to kill myself three times. The last time, I didn’t return home or to school. Not that I had anywhere to go or the means to get there, so I wound up on the street. Life didn’t change much, except I ate less. I didn’t have clean clothes or a bed or a roof over my head. I was still bullied even amongthe homeless for being gay. But now, I was fighting back. I wasn’t going to be their punching bag because they needed an outlet to express their backwards mindset and their misfortune.”
He paused. In that moment, Hawthorn hugged him close, pressing kisses to the back of his head.
“But I was spiraling. I hated living. Hated myself. I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of. I made real plans to end my life. No more half-baked attempts. This was the real deal. Only, I failed. Again. And when I woke up, I was in the hospital. Which wasn’t different from any other time, except I was no longer feeling as defeated as I had been. Now I was just angry. Is this how theirsouthern godmade people? These hypocrites would have me believe that this same god who makes no mistakes and therefore everything he makes is perfect, made me gay and then in the same breath condemned me as an abomination! So yeah, I was pissed. When the doctors and nurses asked if I was still having bad thoughts, I said yes. As soon as they let me out, I was going to throw myself in front of a fucking Mack truck. They kept me on suicide watch for more than a week.”
