Page 46 of House of Kallan
His pain and misery, his anger, came out in his tone. My chest tightened as I listened to him talk. I wanted nothing more than to wrap him up and take it all away. Surely, we could track down someone from his past and I could transfer all his pain to them. That was a thing, right? I’d never tried this kind of pain before.
“I had this one doctor that kept coming back. One day, he closed the door and sat in a chair across from the bed. ‘Do you want to get out of here?’ he asked. Thinking he meant the hospital, I shook my head. There, at least I was clean, fed, and in a bed again. ‘I can get you out of town to somewhere safe. Somewhere very unlike this,’ he told me. I lashed out, of course. It was my only form of defense. I told him that no matter where he brought me, I was still going to be gay. But this guy justnodded and said my sexuality didn’t matter. There was a family waiting for me.”
Aden looked at me again, and I saw the amusement in his eyes. “Honestly, he could have been selling me to a cult or the black market. Selling me into slavery. It didn’t really matter. He was promising me an escape and there was no other way I was going to get out of this place. So I said yes. He took me to The Harem Project, and I was put up in a fucking suite. They left me alone for days, gave me food and clothes and anything I wanted. I felt at peace. When they asked if I wanted to take their questionnaire to find my family, I didn’t give a fuck about it, but if it meant I had more time there, I was going to take it. I listened to their explanation half-heartedly and spread the questionnaire over four days. Honestly, I thought I was kind of self-sabotaging myself by finally spilling everything inside me. Every thought. Every opinion and feeling. I said things in that questionnaire that I’d never said out loud before. I was sure that when I was done, there wouldn’t be anyone who would want me. The lady took my tablet away when I was done and didn’t come back.”
“Why?” I asked, eyes narrowed.
Aden shook his head. “Probably because she could feel I was exhausted. It was several days later when a new AM came in and asked if I wanted my results. I looked at him skeptically because I was still sure that I didn’t have any.” He paused to look at me and I saw the way his eyes glistened with moisture. “I’ve never seen such a long list of names in my life,” he whispered.
I smiled and squeezed his hand once more.
“There were so many. The guy saidhe’dnever seen a list so long. He once more explained and while I paid attention, I was convinced that he’d somehow rigged the system to just dump a bunch of shit in here, so I didn’t feel worthless and lonely. Unwanted. But when he left and I clicked on a name, I was transfixed. They sounded like good people. They were beautiful. And if their program was to be believed, I matched with all ofthem very highly. It was the same thing with the next family. And the next. I still wasn’t convinced that it was real, but I didn’t mind pretending that it was for a while longer. For the first time since I was thirteen, I could pretend that these people would want me. They were primarily groups of men. To me, that meant groups of gay men. Entire families of them. More than anything, that meant I wasn’t alone anymore.”
“How long did it take you to find the Malaks?” I asked.
He laughed. “Not long and totally by accident. I was just scrolling the page, watching the list go on and on. When I touched the screen to make it scroll again, I must have touched the wrong spot and their profile opened.” Aden looked at me. “I was hooked the moment I saw their faces. I’m pretty sure I burst into tears.”
Although I knew his story had a happy ending, I was relieved all the same when he said it out loud.
Tatum
“I thinkit was more than a week that I kept that tablet and just read their profile over and over and over until I had it memorized. I looked at others because I thought I was just being ridiculous, but once I saw the Malaks, there was just something wrong with everyone else. But I was also unconvinced of this entire thing. So, what if I chose this family? They weren’t going to choose me. No one does. But I eventually just told the AM that I chose the Malaks. They explained the contracts, and I chose marriage because even though I was convinced that they weren’t going to want me, if they somehow decided that they were going to give me a chance, I wouldn’t let them get rid of me later. They were going to be stuck with me.”
“Imagine his surprise when we jumped on that contract,” Hawthorn said quietly.
Aden smiled. “Yet, I wasstillso fucking sure you were going to want to get rid of me, so I kept my shield around me—anger and fear and depression. I’m really not sure what finally convinced me you legitimately wanted me. Maybe I was just tired. Exhausted from the fight and anger. Exhausted from how tense I was constantly, ready for you to look at me with disgust.So I gave up. I couldn’t do it anymore. Whatever you did to me, I was just going to take it.”
“I’m guessing it turned out pretty well,” I said, causing Aden to smile.
He laughed. “Yeah. That was the long version of telling you I don’t like the world and it doesn’t like me. So no, I’ve never had a job. I rarely leave our house unless it’s to go see their families or our friends. I shop online.”
He made my heart hurt. “I’m going to say this, but please don’t interpret this as me trying to push you to get a job, okay?” Aden gave me a bemused smile, but nodded. “You do know that there are places that aren’t part of the nonsupernatural world, right? Like The Harem Project?”
“I don’t have the stomach to do what you do, Tatum,” he said.
I chuckled. “I don’t have the stomach for it either sometimes.” Aden grinned. “But there are Administrative Managers that run the happily ever after department. That place where you were. You could help people find their happiness. And there are sanctuary programs too.”
Aden nodded. “Do you know the Agnis?”
“No. Should I?”
He shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe in passing. But their newest husband, Emrys? He has a dojem.”
My eyes widened. “I didn’t know that was really a thing.”
Aden nodded. “That seems to be the common reaction when that news comes out. His dojem is Iskander, and he’s in a different family.” My eyes widened even more. To the point where I thought one might just pop out. “That’s a long, sad story, but the reason I’m telling you this is because Iskander has proposed an educational program to The Harem Project and they’ve just given him backing to begin funding it. It’s a safe space where kids, or even adults, can learn about sexuality in a safe environment. Education on sex and whatever is very hetero-based and not only monogamous but just… vanilla hetero. Like, nodemi or asexual or anything. Kids struggle with this enough and, while there’s information online, it can be isolating as a child. And then there are kids like me who found themselves in literal hell not just struggling with liking men but all the other things I didn’t figure out until later.”
“That sounds really great,” I said. “Will they make it accessible to nonsupernaturals too?”
Aden nodded. “Yep. But Iskander has a second part too, that’s just supernatural-based. A place where all the legends and lore from our long past can be found and learned about. These bonds, like dojem, and others that are so infrequent that you don’t realize it’s a thing until it’s nearly too late.”
“That’s incredible,” I said. Why hadn’t anyone else thought about that before? Maybe for the same reasons I hadn’t. Everyone just assumed that they were bonds from the past. Nothing that happened anymore. Like we’d evolved past them. Or evolved in such a way that we were no longer capable of forming them.
Perhaps we’d crossed species far too much to facilitate the creation of them. Oh! Or maybe we were so spread out between the two worlds that meeting your other half was nearly impossible.
“I’ve toyed with the idea of joining it,” he said. “I think it would be fascinating to learn about the different bonds and that he’s setting it up to be a safe space for both of those ventures is definitely personal to me.”
“I love that for you,” I said, smiling.
