Page 4 of For I Have Sinned
“Where are you? You’re forty-five minutes late.”
Again, confusion makes me frown as my gaze slowly slides over windows of shops and residents. I shake my head. “What?” I repeat, sounding stupid even to myself.
There’s muffled sounds on the other end, and then Nora’s voice fills the phone. “Fuck’s sake, Zaiden. We said half an hour. Not an hour and a half. Where are you? Are you okay?”
It takes me an embarrassingly long time to remember that I had plans. I cringe, sinking back on my heels. “Sorry. I… got sidetracked,” I say, then glance at Ellsworth, who’s arranging the rows a little more perfectly while watching me. “I’m going to skip playing ball, but I’ll meet you for pizza and pool after.”
She sighs in frustration. “Fine.” The line goes dead. I crinkle my nose. Well, that rarely happens.
As I’m turning back to Ellsworth, I catch a flag in the window of a storefront facing the cathedral. “Ohhh,” I say, turning back to face the something-like-a-reverend. “Pride flag. That’s what you’re talking about.”
His half smile makes my stomach flip. “Yes. They’ll love that. Don’t you think?”
“Doesn’t seem to bother you,” I point out.
He looks away and sighs. “No.”
Silence settles around us for a minute and I watch him. This time without pretending I’m not. I’m a quick study of people but better if they’re not trying to be closed off. Ellsworth is certainly a closed book.
“When do you get off?”
His raised brow pointing in my direction makes me flush. He licks his lips and I’m horrified when my gaze tracks his tongue. Now my skin burns like I’ve been baking in the sun for an hour. But he likes my discomfort. The cute smile on his lips says so.
“I don’t work a nine to five.”
“Are you allowed free time?” I ask, hoping that didn’t sound like I was being suggestive.
Ellsworth studies me for a minute. I can clearly see a debate within his hypnotic green eyes. Are priests allowed to wear contacts? They seem far too green, too captivating to be real. I’m just… enthralled by the color. So much so that I barely register it when he asks me a question.
“For what?”
I blink, once again feeling my cheeks heat. Seriously, I’ve never blushed so much in my life. “My friends and I are going to Strikers for pizza and pool, in a bit. Want to join us?”
He returns my stare. I determine that Ellsworth Sanna is young. Thirties at the most. His shoulders are wide under his black shirt. His biceps strain against the folded up cuffs. The buttons over his chest strain.
Biting my lip, I force my eyes not to continue trailing his body. Hello, inappropriate! Not only because I’m checking out a fucking man, but because he’s a damn priest.
Taking a breath, I lean back on my heels to try to increase the distance between us. I’m sitting too close to him. That must be it.
His expression is somewhat amused now but I’m not sure which part he finds funny. That I’m clearly checking him out and horrified about it. Or that I’m basically asking him out and simultaneously want to get away from him. Maybe it’s this entire situation.
“That’s okay,” he says, shifting his attention back to the flowers. “You don’t need to invite me.”
“No, I don’t. But I’d like you to come.” I wince at my choice of words. Especially when he chuckles quietly. I’m glad my choice of words makes him laugh. And surprised that I feel that I like being able to make him laugh.
“Would you?” he asks, not looking at me.
I sigh. “Yes. Despite me being awkward all of a sudden, I’d like you to join us for pizza and pool.”
Ellsworth turns to face me, moving his body entirely in my direction, and I can see just how large he is now. The struggle to keep my eyes locked with his is enough to almost have me choking on the stress of what’s building inside me. I don’t recognize it and it’s a little terrifying.
“Why would you like me to join you, Zaiden?” he asks. A perfectly good, reasonable question.
One I simply don’t have an answer to. So I blurt, “Because I want to get to know you.” And then I heat up. Again. I’m so fucking glad no one I know is around to see me fumble. I’m asking a man out! A priest!!
That’s like, against their laws or some shit.
It’s several minutes during which he studies me before he answers. Minutes in which my mind is turning into knots, my stomach is turning sour, my chest is getting tight. I’m so close to panic and embarrassment that my vision gets dark and I fear I might further humiliate myself by passing out.
