Page 107 of Beauty and the Mafia Boss

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“What is it?” I ask a restless Rafaella during lunch.

“Aren't you worried at all?” I frown, having no idea what she's talking about.

“About what?”

“You haven't had your period for over three months, Gabriella.”

“Oh!” I pay attention to my plate again. “That's normal,” I add before taking a bite to my mouth.

“No, it's not.” I swallow calmly before responding.

“My period has never been accurate.”

“But that was because you were way underweight.”

“Yes, the doctor said that over time it will regularize. The vitamins I'm taking will help.” Rafaella bites her lip.

“But aren't you afraid of getting pregnant?”

I choke when the question makes me swallow the portion of food I had just put in my mouth. I cough, choking, and take several sips from the glass of water that had been abandoned until now.

“What?”

“You can't possibly have never thought about it!” She scolds me and I blink, because no, I hadn’t. When Vittorio sent the doctor after the first time we had sex, the subject was brought up, of course, but since then it had never crossed my mind again.

“Eh...”

“You could be pregnant right now and think that the lack of menstruation is due to the irregularity.” Rafaella interrupts me before I have a chance to decide what to say. “I don't want to be the paranoid one, Gabriella, but I think it's scary that you just don't care about this. Do you happen to want to get pregnant now?”

“No!” The word comes out of my mouth in a statement, because, no, I don't want to. Rafaella's face relaxes in relief instantly.

“What would happen if I got pregnant?” I ask, unable to contain myself.

“Do you want to change the answer you gave me before?” Rafa asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I don't want to get pregnant, but you seemed too relieved about it. So, I want to know, what would happen?” My friend bites her lip and looks away from the windows, remaining silent for a while before answering me.

“Your child would be a bastard. Children out of wedlock are not welcome in our world.”

“What does that mean?”

“That he wouldn't be treated as an official part of the Don's family, nor would he inherit anything. He would be created without a position in the hierarchy and without many resources either.”

“Ah...” That's all I can say.

I really don't want a child right now, but I'd be lying if I said that over the last few weeks, since the dinner in his parents' ward, in the moments when I've unintentionally let down my mental walls, I haven't found myself imagining a future with Vittorio more than once, and in some of them, the Don wasn't the only one fulfilling my absurd fantasies.

“I mean, I...”

“You don't need to sugarcoat reality for me, Rafa,” I interrupt, because I don't want sweet lies, I never liked them.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“You were just being a good friend, as always. It's okay, I'm really so used to not getting my period every month that it hasn't occurred to me that the recent changes —” yes, I mean all the sex Vittorio and I are having, but I don't say that. “—should change that. But I don't think I'm pregnant. They say a woman feels it when she is, right?” Rafaella raises a mocking eyebrow in response.

“Then my cousin came with a defect, Lilian only discovered she was pregnant when she was already five months pregnant. According to her, the only thing she felt was gas. Well, the gases have very cute cheeks and are called Isis.” I throw my head back,not stopping myself from laughing, but as soon as the laughter dies in my mouth, apprehension takes over my stomach.

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