Page 14 of Fourth and Long

My mother lives in an adorable brick cottage in the Westover neighborhood of Arlington. It’s the house my father left her with when he decided to marry someone else. Even eighteen years later, it carries the weight of that decision.

“Hello, darling. You look nice,” she says when she opens the front door.

She says “nice,” but she doesn’t mean it. I can hear the critique in my head. No makeup. None. Hair hanging limply in a loose ponytail. And jeans. What are you, a cowboy?

She leans over and gives me two air kisses as she surveys me from top to bottom.

“You, too,” I respond dutifully.

It isn’t a lie. She’s wearing charcoal-colored slacks and a plum cashmere sweater. Her honey-colored hair, the exact shade of Kelsey’s, falls in loose curls around her shoulders. Even though my mother’s approaching fifty, she looks more like my older sister than my parent.

We walk into the living room, where I perch precariously on the edge of the sofa. Experience has taught me it’s best for both of us if I don’t get too cozy.

“Have you found a new job yet?” she asks. She’s terrified I’ll run out of money and be forced to move in with her. As if I would ever allow that to happen.

“Not really. I checked in with a football player on Friday.”

“A football player?” She wrinkles her nose. My lack of sports knowledge is a direct result of my mother. She isn’t fond of anything that requires sweat.

“I’m doing a favor for Kelsey and Cam. One of his players is having a rough time, so Kelsey asked me to stop by.”

“What do you know about football?”

“Not as much as I’d like.”

She purses her lips for a moment, like she is considering what to say next. “Maybe this quarter-life crisis is what you need to finally give up on being a therapist.”

I can’t believe she said that. She ought to be proud of me, but she’s too busy being mad because my father refused to consider therapy before they got divorced. And because he encouraged me to become a psychologist.

I shake my head vigorously. “Not at all, I’m just…taking a break, trying to figure out how to best leverage what I’m good at.” I don’t want a new career, but I do want to feel like I’m helping people rather than validating their desire to break up. “This football player will keep me occupied for now.”

I know hanging out with Slater isn’t a long-term solution to my career problems, but I’d never admit to my mother that I’m feeling lost. She’d take it as a personal attack on her parenting skills.

“I hope you enjoy it.” She seems sincere, which is nice.

“It’ll be different, at least.”

“New boyfriend?” she asks. It’s the same question she’s tossed at me religiously since I turned sixteen. While I was in college, I briefly made up a boyfriend so we’d have something to discuss.

I can’t get away with not answering, so I say, “I went out with a new guy last weekend.”

“He was nice?”

“Yep.”

“What does he do?”

“Government contractor.” Half of the professionals in the city are contractors. The other half are government employees. The dating pool in the district is not varied.

She smiles weakly. On the one hand, she wants me to meet a nice guy and settle down. On the other, she knows men are lying asshats and is relieved when I don’t succumb to their charms. She always seems eager to have me start dating someone, and just as eager for the relationship to fail.

She’s been going through quite an adjustment period since Kelsey eloped with Cam. Her favorite daughter committed the ultimate folly: marriage. She’s trying to be supportive of Kelsey, but it’s a stretch.

“Stable job?” she says. I know she wants to ask for details, but she’s holding back. It’s another side effect of Kelsey’s abrupt marriage. She’s gotten hesitant. She’s probably worried I’ll marry, too.

“Apparently. What about you? Boyfriend?” I have no idea what has gotten into me.

The look she shoots me should be fatal. “I don’t date.”

---