Page 28 of Willows and Waterlilies

God, I want that, and I wanted that with him. As always, I gave away too much, too soon, too intensely. Hours seem to have passed by the time I peel myself off the tiled floor. I look in the mirror and see a shell of a woman with panda dark eyes, scraggly hair, and the look of a broken heart. Perfect.

The offices are now full of people, and I expect my absence will have been noted, which means another big brother conversation with the Carter brothers.

However, when I finally do walk through everyone’s desks, no one looks up to stare at me with pity. I’m not sure I could keep my cool together if someone were to say anything about that newspaper article. Of course, Elijah’s Amanda happened to be a socialite darling with an uber rich family that makes her worthy of the media’s time. Just my luck!

The phone buzzes through before I even have a chance to place my butt on the seat, so I pick up with a long sigh and a disgruntled edge to my voice.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Ellie, it’s Helena; I have an Elijah Woods to see you.”

“Tell him I don’t want to see him,” I reply coldly.

“Oh…er…wait a moment,” she stutters, then puts me on hold for a few seconds. “He’s being quite insistent, plus, he’s got quite a lot of stuff with him. Do you want me to call Cameron?”

“Oh, God, no,” I sigh as I rub my tired eyes with the heel of my free hand. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Ok, if you’re sure,” she says, sounding worried.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Thanks, Hels.”

Where the hell is Nate or Cameron when you need them? I could do with a pep talk right about now. With no other option, I stand up straight, brush down my crumpled outfit that probably smells of bathroom, and begin my descent into even more anger, frustration, and broken heartedness.

I try to remain standing confidently in the lift, to stare at my reflection with determination and a take-no-crap-expression, even if I feel anything but. However, as soon as the door opens to reveal the man himself, standing tall and imposing in the middle of the reception area, I immediately slump.

Be strong, Ellie, be strong, just for five more minutes!

“Ellie,” Elijah says, now turning and looking as thoroughly disheveled as I am. “Ellie, thank God, you came down!”

“What do you want, Mr Woods?” I ask in a formal tone of voice. “Amanda West doesn’t work here.”

“Yeah, thank God!” he snaps at the same time as he begins grabbing hold of a box full of what looks like the gossip papers from before.

“Oh, I see you brought souvenirs.”

“What? No!” he gasps, looking positively frantic, not at all like his usual gentlemanly persona. In fact, he looks like a complete mess.

“What do you want, Elijah? You proved how trustworthy you can be, so let’s just leave it alone.”

“To prove to you that I never broke that trust,” he snaps. “Look, you can see my hand pushing her away, and my other one is in the air, cos she grabbed me, Ellie. I had no fucking idea what was going on until she had her lips on mine. My eyes aren’t even closed!”

“Or you’re embracing her with that hand, and the other one is simply mid-flight to pull her into you!” I argue. “It could be either way; how do I know?”

“L-l-look,” he says, sounding really flustered, “I swear to you, Ellie, that kiss meant nothing on my part. She told me she wanted me back, that she didn’t care about her trust fund anymore, that she just wanted me, cos I’m the one that got away or something. But I left as soon as I could get out of there. When I got outside, there were cameras and she was suddenly kissing me. Please, Ellie, you have to believe me…trust me, Ellie!”

“I don’t know,” I just about utter, “I don’t know what to do.”

“You can trust me, Ellie,” he begs as he takes hold of my hand, looking completely desperate.

“But…” I begin, then trail off, not knowing how to finish whatever it was I was going to say.

“Ellie, I know I’m innocent,” he says, suddenly standing back, as if trying to compose himself. “I know that I thought nothing of you for those six months when I was kicking myself for hurting you; I know I went to not only your cousin, but also to Lucius Hastings of all people, to try and get you back; I know I’ve done everything within my power to prove to you that I’m a good guy; I know I’ve been upfront about everything. Ellie, I would not have done any of that just to ruin it over some woman who threw me away, who gave me nothing but a text because it was too hard for her to do it in person.”

“Elijah…”

“But if you don’t know that, if you don’t know how much I feel for you, then there is no us,” he says, transforming back into his gentleman persona. “The photograph is damning, I can see that, but I have explained everything, just like you explained about not knowing Jonathan was married. I believed you; I could see it in your eyes. Look at me, Ellie, look into my eyes and tell me you don’t see the truth in them.”

I scan his face, looking into his eyes with nothing but anxiety and fear taking over me. Eventually, when the silence becomes deafening, he nods once and steps away from me.

---