Page 59 of The Fool

I grin at her, knowing I’ve won the battle she was trying to fight on his behalf. For now, at least. She simply nudges me with her foot before laughing with me. After which, we fall silent, comfortably so, as we both seem to get lost in our own thoughts. My thoughts are plagued by images of Nathaniel, evoking a whole arc of emotions. I rarely saw him when we were both teenagers, we were at different high schools and ran in different social circles. He was the popular golden boy, whereas my social circle consisted of Emma and Dean…until it didn’t.

“You know, Ben told us what happened with your sister, as well as Evan. He also told us what happened afterward,” she says with caution. I try to block it all out by closing my eyes.

“Well, he had no right to do that,” I whisper sadly.

“Did you ever have counseling or anything?”

“I had a few sessions, but they weren’t necessary,” I lie. “I got over it quickly and I’m fine now. Ben should move out with Leah; I don’t need his or anyone else’s protection anymore.”

“Because you’ve had healthy relationships with other people since then?” she asks, looking curious.

“Have you?” I snap, hating how defensive I sound.

“In my own way, yes. I’ve loved virtually every guy I’ve been with, maybe notinlove with them, but I cared about them at the time. Dating without the desire to settle down is my choice; I don’t have any regrets about the men I’ve been with. But being alone and sad isn’t really your choice, is it?”

“Maybe not, but it’s certainly a lot easier,” I admit. “Safer too.”

“Perhaps you need to have a bit more counseling? Now that time has settled,” she suggests.

“Why? Because I don’t want to go out with Nathaniel?” I huff, still acting like a pouty child over her words, even if they do make sense.

“No, forget Nate if you want; I mean get help for you,” she says, reaching over to hug me, “you deserve it.”

I hug her back and let the tears escape from my eyes a little because I know she’s right, but I’m too scared to face it all. And yet, I desperately want to move on; to experience life and love without fear.

“God! Why do I attract the assholes?” I grumble. “And why did I let this particular asshole get close to me? I mean we virtually…we nearly…oh, forget it!”

“I know,” she says sympathetically, “I was really rooting for you guys. I thought once you got past all the bullshit, you two would have been every bit as great as Cam and Lils. Unfortunately, as I said before, they tend to fight off relationships by behaving a bit dickish for a bit. If you can move past that, then it can be wonderful. If you can’t, then I think people understand, even Nate himself.”

“Well, after his visit the other night, I’ve not heard anything, not a peep. I think it’s safe to say any possibility of Nathaniel and I getting together has well and truly disappeared. Kind of thought he might have texted me though.”

“He did,” Ben calls out from the corridor leading up to his room, now fully dressed in his pilot’s uniform. “Last night, after I put you back in bed.”

“Oh, my!” Callie murmurs, then starts to fan herself with her hand. Looking at her flushed cheeks and wide eyes, I think Callie has just orgasmed right here in our living room. I can’t help laughing as I slap my hand against her leg, prompting her to at least try and be subtle.

“I blocked his number from your phone and warned Mrs Green not to let anyone up,” Ben says arrogantly as he fusses with his tie in front of the mirror. “I hear she got a beautiful bunch of roses from him this morning and she didn’t seem to care they had your name on the card.”

“Ben, will you butt the fuck out of it?” I snap with my inner angry bull beginning to rear its ugly head.

“No, I’m finally taking control of all this shit!” he says, turning to face me with a stern expression; he looks so much like Dad it’s a little unsettling.

“Hey, Ben, is it?” Callie pipes in after having watched our altercation. “Tell me something, if Leah had a brother who was stopping you from having any contact with her, would you accept it, or fight for her?”

“I would fight for her, but then I’m not a fucking douchebag,” he argues.

“Hmmm, I don’t know, you’re kind of acting like one,” she says with a shrug of her shoulders. I don’t think I make things any better when I drop my mouth open in amused shock. I think Ben might have met more of a match for him than even Leah.

“Excuse me, but it’s kind of none of your business!” he snaps. “She’s my sister and I will protect her with everything in me.”

“And I respect that, but you’re her brother, not her father, not her boyfriend, and not her keeper, yet here we are,” she argues, still maintaining a calm exterior.

This is where she and Leah differ; Leah would have bitten his head off by now, whereas Callie is clearly getting under his skin by acting indifferent to his mounting rage.

“With all due respect, you haven’t seen her the way I’ve seen her, so you don’t get to have an opinion on the matter.”

“You’re right, I didn’t see what she was like nine years ago. Then again, when I was thirteen, I got terrifically sick after smoking weed at my first party. Doesn’t mean I have my mommy come with me to every event I attend now,” she says. “What I do see is a woman in her twenties not engaging in any kind of relationship with the opposite sex because she’s too afraid of being let down. That and her overbearing older brother.”

The two of them stare at each other, with neither one of them backing down from their opinion of how to best ‘look after’ my interests. To my surprise, Ben looks away first, but only to glare at me.

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