Page 61 of The Fool

“I wouldn’t want it any other way, darling,” I tease before hanging up.

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Bea

My days have become lazier and lazier as the week has gone on. With each new morning of not getting ready for work, I feel more and more like I’m bunking off school. As such, I don’t quite know what to do with myself. I don’t deserve this time off so feel like I should stay home, acting as if I’m ill and unable to have any fun. Daytime TV makes me feel depressed, and I’ve read so many books my eyes have gone fuzzy. Everyone I know is at work and I don’t want to face my parents right now, so I’ve settled for looking at crap on the internet.

Unfortunately, temptation gets the better of me and I end up doing something extremely stupid; I look up my sister’s profile. Her small profile picture shows a girl I no longer know. With long, wavy, bleach-blonde hair, and a set of teeth that have been artificially whitened, or filtered, she’s become a clone, a trophy wife I never knew Dean was after. But then, I never knew why he had chosen me either. I assumed it was because he wanted someone different, more edgy, a girl who stepped outside the lines to stay true to herself. It turns out I was wrong, so very wrong. I scroll down through her feed so I can see more photographs of her with her friends; she looks happy. She posts daily and there are plenty of pictures to show what an amazing life she is leading. I try not to feel bitter, to not resent her for having a happy life that was built on the back of my pain, but I’m human; I can’t help it.

When I eventually come to a picture of her and Dean, I begin to wonder whether I should let it all go. Their happy, smiling faces show they were obviously meant to be together. In fact, they’ve now been together over three times the amount of time we were a couple. And when I look at his face, with his smug smile that had once brought me to the lowest I’ve ever been, I realize I’m not jealous or even mad at him anymore. I feel nothing for him. But Emma? She cut me deep, leaving a wound that still feels like it’s gaping wide open. She was my best friend, my confidant, as well as my blood, and she took him anyway…and in my own bed!

After staring at their picture for much too long, I eventually glance up to see that her status reads ‘engaged’. Funnily enough, I smile, for it honestly doesn’t surprise me. Thinking about how my mother has been trying extra hard to get me to talk to her, I’m sure this is what they’ve been trying to tell me. Slamming my laptop shut, I rub my face with a long sigh. This is why Ben and I have been summoned to a family dinner at my parents’ place on Friday. This also means Emma and Dean will be there; I’ve avoided them for nearly ten years, and Mom and Dad have always respected this, but this time they won’t. I’m going to be forced into facing two of the people who brought me to my knees.

Thankfully, my phone rings and it snaps me out of my long list of questions, all whirling about inside of my head. Even better is the name that flashes on the screen, for they are precisely who I need after such a devastating discovery.

“Finn, my hero, please tell me you’re free. I’m going out of my mind with boredom.”

“It just so happens I was on my way out for a coffee,” he says with the sound of a smile coming through the phone. “See you in ten? The usual place?”

“Already got my jacket,” I tell him and hang up before rushing to get away from my laptop and the secrets it’s just told me.

_____

Bea

Once inside the familiar café, where I had sat with Callie and Lily barely a month ago, I head straight for the same table. Finn, being the friend that he is, has already ordered my usual, which I tuck into almost straight away. Doing nothing all day is actually hard work. I’m sure I’ll return home after this to indulge in a long nap.

Finn stares at me with judgment while I eat half my sandwich without even having said hello. I look up and smile at his confused frown, then get straight into filling him in on Nate, my job changes, and Emma’s engagement. He listens intently before placing both of his hands on top of his head and mimicking a silent scream.

Having finished my sandwich, I set about shoving cake into my mouth; I don’t even feel guilty about it. I’m owning this cake and all its delicious calories right now. Anyone who tries to get between me and this mouth-watering piece of carrot cake is likely to get stabbed with my fork.

“So?” he finally says, gesturing for me to continue. “What’s your next move?”

“Besides homicide?” I tease. “I have no idea. But trying to get through Friday at my folks’ place is going to be pretty high on the agenda. If only I could get out of it somehow.”

“You can’t,” he says with determination. “You can’t let your ex-butthead-boyfriend and conniving little sister cut you off from your parents. If anyone should be hiding away, it should be them. If I wasn’t working Friday, I would be coming with you. I’ve been waiting to meetEmmaandDeanfor a while now. I am, however, going to be seeing Nate on Friday. He’s booked a table for two.”

He raises his brow at me in a suggestive manner while I feel a stab of pain and jealousy behind my ribcage. I drop my fork onto the plate in disgust and push the whole thing away from me.

“Damn, Nathaniel Carter, he’s even ruined my cake,” I grumble, “cake was all I had!”

“Want me to spit in his food?” He smirks at the same time as clutching hold of my hands.

“That goes without saying,” I giggle, “but, I’m giving up on him anyway. Besides, he can’t have had very deep feelings for me if he can move on this quickly. It was pretty dumb of me to think otherwise.”

“Hey,” Finn says as he brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. “Bea Summers, you are beautiful, funny, and brilliant. The ass is a fucking nutjob to have let you slip through his fingers, trust me. One day, you’ll meet someone worthy of you, and this will be nothing more than an amusing anecdote to tell said someone on your wedding anniversary. You’ll both laugh, fuck each other’s brains out, all the while thinking of me saying this. It will get awkward, and you’ll realize you should have got it on with your best friend, Finn, and then we’ll get married…in a castle. It’s all very romantic; I’m already phoning around film producers as we speak.”

“Yeah, the stuff of fairytales, I’m sure.”

“I just gotta work out some kinks but you get the idea.” He shrugs before we both burst out laughing. It’s just what I needed after the shitty week I’ve been having.Remember this moment on Friday, Bea.

_____

Bea

Later that evening, while trying to gather the energy or inclination to make something for dinner, my phone pings, pulling me out of my reverie of Nate fucking some Victoria Secret model, Friday night dinners, and awkward wedding days to come. I feel relieved for the distraction, but when I glance over to see it’s from Nathaniel, my heart begins thumping wildly about my chest. I’m not sure if it’s through fear or excitement, but I know it takes me a good few moments before I can brave it enough to open it.

If I buzzed your door right now, would you let me in? xxx

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