Page 68 of The Fool

“That’s very deep and meaningful, Bea,” he softly laughs. “Are you brave enough to trust your heart to me?”

I remain silent, not sure how to answer that yet. Instead, I sigh and continue to play with his hair. Eventually, he moves back to my face and kisses me gently before swiping his tongue into my mouth, though only for a moment.

“As much as it pains me, I best get you home.” I must look disappointed and maybe anxious because he then leans in to whisper in my ear, “I want you, Bea Summers, I want you so fucking bad, I need to stop now before I can’t.”

We both look at one another before he gets up and helps me to my feet, with the both of us practically naked. He looks me up and down, grins darkly, then leans in to kiss my cheek.

“I’m going to go and grab a shirt.”

When he returns downstairs, I smile shyly at him, blushing from what just happened between us. He simply grins and shakes his head, obviously sensing my embarrassment.

“You ready?” he calls over and I grab my bag to walk to the front door. Before I walk out, he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me back against him. “Don’t be embarrassed, Bea,” he says, “sex isn’t something dirty.”

“I know, but the last time I did have sex, it felt like it was.”

“Well, we won’t ever be like that,” he reassures me before kissing me one last time.

_____

Bea

I return home to the lights of the city and notice my own apartment window glowing brightly, meaning Callie must have already returned from her date. I suddenly feel exhausted and hope she doesn’t want to dissect every moment of each other’s evenings. I know she’s missing Lily though, so I won’t stop her if that’s what she needs to do with me. She’s been there for me in the last few weeks and the happiness that brings me feels warm inside. Ben has always been there for me but in a brotherly way. So has Finn, but he’s still a guy. It’s not the same as having a close girlfriend in which to confide. Plus, the thought of beginning a conversation with either of them that starts with,‘So, Nate went down on me this evening,’doesn’t really appeal.

“Looks like Callie’s home early,” I comment with a wince on my face. “Her date can’t have gone too well.”

“She’ll be fine,” Nate says with a shrug, “she doesn’t date men for long. She enjoys the chase and the relationship ‘firsts’, but then becomes rapidly bored.”

“What went on between you two?” I’m not sure I want to hear the answer to this question, but it’s fallen from my mouth now.

“Plain old fucking and nothing more,” he says like it’s no big deal. “We used each other to scratch an itch.”

“Not sure if I feel any better about that answer,” I reply truthfully, “but I did ask, didn’t I?”

“That you did,” he answers, “but it was years ago. I can honestly say I am not scratching anyone’s itch right now.”

“Anyway, I best let you go,” I murmur awkwardly, feeling a little odd over his past conquests.

“Ok,” he says and kisses me with pent-up lust from our session earlier on. “Good luck tomorrow and call if you need me. If not, I’ll call you on Saturday.”

After I tease him with a mock salute, I open the door and step out. However, unbeknownst to me, he follows me and before I know it, he’s pinned me up against the car door and is kissing me wildly, exploring every corner of my mouth. It’s hard and passionate, and his cock is now stiffening between my thighs. I wrap my legs around his waist while he holds me firmly against the warm metal of his car.

When I feel like I could easily come from his grinding against me, he reluctantly withdraws his mouth, but not before biting my bottom lip and pulling.

“I feel like this is the longest foreplay I’ve ever had,” he groans. He squeezes his eyes shut even tighter before pushing off away from me. “Ok, I’m going home to have a cold shower.”

He walks over to the driver’s door and opens it, waving at me before he slips inside. I return the gesture and head to the door of my building, knowing that I need one of those too.

Chapter 22

Bea

As I approach the front door, the same one that used to bring me comfort, the nostalgic feeling I was hoping for doesn’t come. Instead, I am met with a sense of dread, cruel memories, and a need to be violently sick. In fact, when I am halfway down the paved path that still has two chipped tiles from when Emma and I had dropped an antique chest on top of it, I have to take a moment to inhale a deep breath. We were trying to build a den in the yard and what den would be complete without our grandmother’s mahogany chest? I took the blame, telling my parents that it had all been my idea. I had to work off the cost of replacing the slabs for the next three weeks. Turns out I was on less than the minimum wage from at least four decades ago, not to mention they never did replace the broken tiles. So, essentially, I had worked for nothing. Not that new tiles would stop this impending evening from being thoroughly awful. I know it will be, but it’s got to happen, so I may as well get it over with.

I can see Ben’s bike in the driveway, which is another reason to go through with this; he doesn’t deserve to face them all alone. Besides, I know he has my back if needed.

In the dusky light of fall, the glow from the windows is warm and inviting. It reminds me of a time when I’d return home from school in the cool night air and feel happy and safe to be returning to see my mom and dad, Emma, and Ben. Now, however, I only feel distant from them, knowing that I’m going to be expected to get over my sister’s betrayal and accept the way things turned out. I’m also going to have to accept Dean as my new brother-in-law, which sounds wrong, even inside my head. And then there’s Emma herself. Why did she do it to me? Why could she not have done the decent thing and talked to me about her feelings? Was her lust for Dean too much to ignore? And in my bed of all places. Whose fucking idea was that?

I have no idea how long I’ve managed to put off knocking on my childhood home’s door, but now that I’m here, I understand why Dean refused to just walk in; it’s not my home anymore. I have a key, but I’ve not used it since that night. Even when I visit my parents when I know my sister is away, I never use it. I always knock. However, this time, I wish I had, for the person who comes to answer the door is none other than my ex-boyfriend, Dean.

---