Page 26 of Her Rugged Guardian

CHAPTER 8

Cassandra

White-hot electricity continued drilling into every cell and muscle from the single touch, searing the nerve endings as if they’d been driven into a blazing fire. I was shocked how intense the immediate connection was.

My mother had told me that love and hate were two sides of the same coin, just handled differently under various circumstances. When I’d asked her what she’d meant, she’d said the passion was exactly the same, all the pain that came with the tension and desire to caress or kill. Even the heartache that occurred afterwards was no different.

She’d been describing her love to hate to love to utter loathing she’d had with my father. Fiery passion had turned into bitter anger and contempt, which should have been a red flag when in fact it hadn’t been a deterrent when I’d needed it the most.

Here I was thinking with my throbbing pussy all over again instead of the rational and very sane woman I’d forced myself to become. Then again, what was wrong with wanting somethingmore than work? I wasn’t certain I could make decent decisions for myself any longer. I’d done a piss-poor job so far. Hopefully, that didn’t include purchasing the B & B. I’d so wanted a new life far removed from the one I’d endured. The best thing to do was to continue fighting Jake. Eventually he’d hate me. Right? Yes, that was the best idea.

I was committed to my decision, even though I was fighting the strange urges pooling like butterflies in my stomach. Once he learned how fractured I was, he’d run far away anyway. I’d rather the distance be on my terms.

As I tried to catch my breath, I stared out the bay window, the light fog and heavy rain making it seem much darker than the time of day. When another flash of lightning caught my attention, a quick memory of the feeling of being watched rushed into my mind once again. Of course, that wasn’t possible since only my boss and Jessica knew where I’d gone. It had seemed prudent to hide my lifestyle change for several reasons. Sure, if someone wanted to hire an attorney, they could easily trace my steps but that would take longer than a day. Wouldn’t it?

I was obviously exhausted from my trip, which was the only reason I thought I’d fallen into the rush of fear from my previous life. I’d promised myself once I shifted into my new life, I wouldn’t do that. Here I was ignoring all the simple rules I’d promised myself before jumping on the plane.

That had included the oath to stay away from men.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

The words came far too easily as I slunk into the kitchen, immediately pressing my back against the warm ovens, trying tocatch my breath. I glared at the cupcake still in my hand as if the baked good was toxic, wanting to smash it against the wall. I couldn’t do that because Moose would be very happy to clean it up for me and dogs couldn’t tolerate chocolate. I wasn’t certain the small town had a veterinarian let alone ready to hunt one down in the middle of a violent storm because of my stupidity.

“Shit,” I muttered, feeling more out of control than I had for a long time. I finally tossed the cupcake into the trash, glaring at the chocolate staining my fingers. My days of baking were over.

How many times had I cursed under my breath that day? Ten? Twenty? I wasn’t certain but as I snatched the towel from the counter, furiously wiping my hands and face with such vigor I could easily rub off particles of dead skin along with my makeup, I berated myself for being so stupid with the salt.

An honest mistake but he might think I’d tried to kill him. In addition to all the other stupid things I’d accomplished, I was setting myself up for a conspiracy theory? The day was just perfect. I thought about what to offer the man to drink. While I’d purchased vodka and orange juice for my preferred method of sin, I doubted he was a screwdriver kind of hunk.

A laugh bubbled to the surface since screwdrivers were obviously tools he’d used a thousand times. Hadn’t I seen a bottle of whiskey or scotch somewhere? I was certain of it. I started throwing open cabinet doors, taking far too long trying to find something acceptable. When I finally found what I was looking for, I instinctively threw a look over my shoulder, half expecting Jake to be watching me. Thankful he wasn’t, I grabbed two glasses, filling them with booze before plopping two ice cubes in each glass.

When I headed for the living room, only then did I realize that I had no clue what I was serving him. For all I knew, my mother had replaced whatever liquor used to be in the bottle with olive oil. The color was almost the same. Oh, God. I took a sniff the second before I stepped into the room.

I’d experienced moment of being awestruck before. I mean who hadn’t? Like when I’d literally run into Jon Bon Jovi at a restaurant in northern Virginia. Or the time I’d gotten up the nerve to ask for Tom Selleck’s autograph after my dad had taken me to the set of a movie being shot near our hometown.

But the sight of Jake standing without his shirt, the warm firelight highlighting every delicious muscle that God or a set of iron weights had given him was enough to steal my breath completely. The heat rushing to my core was more explosive than before, my pulse so rapid I could feel it thumping in my neck. I wasn’t the kind of girl to gawk at a man, no matter how good looking, but dear God and all that was holy, he was without a doubt the sexiest man alive.

He stood with one hand resting on the thick stone mantel, one foot positioned on the hearth, the other on the plush rug. The angle was perfect, allowing me to bask in his chiseled abs and a rounded butt that fit perfectly in his skintight jeans that left nothing to the imagination.

Even with the scars that flowed like a pattern of lava down his chest, the mottled skin didn’t take away from his extreme and insanely good looks.

When I finally managed to take a single step, he twisted his head away from the fire, lifting his gaze slowly. His chest rose and fell from his labored breathing. As I walked closer, I sensed he knewthe thoughts rumbling through my mind were improper, but he chose not to embarrass me, which I was grateful for.

Maybe there was some decency in the man after all.

I found myself moving slowly, so much so that I was certain time had stopped. When I was finally in front of him, I realized once again how tall he was, dwarfing me in my bare feet. There were no adequate words for the discomforting feeling that refused to leave, only awkwardness remaining.

When I finally managed to hand him one of the glasses, I did so while making certain our fingers didn’t touch again. The connection we shared was even more intense than before. He lifted his glass slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. He still had the towel wrapped around his neck and for some crazy reason, I almost reached up and snatched it away. I wanted to see every inch of him unfettered by a simple cloth.

Or his jeans.

Oh, God. I was going to burn in hell for thinking that way.

When he took a deep whiff, I laughed nervously. “I did the same thing. Since I tried to poison you, I thought I better made certain it wasn’t olive oil or something.”

“Do you intend on killing me? If so, I need to tell you I must have nine lives.”

“Is that so?” My voice was little more than a husky whisper.

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