Page 35 of Her Rugged Guardian

“Get a grip. You’re here. A fresh start. You can return to being a droll girl.” At least the personal insults made me feel a tad better.

After washing my face, I knew I needed coffee before I could manage to step foot in the shower. Maybe that was a tiny whitelie. The truth was that I wanted Jake’s scent to remain on my skin for a little while longer. My reflection glared back at me as I did a silly girlie thing of bringing my arm to my nose, taking a deep breath. It was the way the girl in the mirror laughed that was insulting.

I pointed my finger at her, making a sour face of my own. “Hey. At least I allowed myself to have a good time. What about you?” I’d taken to talking to myself in front of a mirror a year before when everything in my life had tumbled out of control. It had strangely calmed me, the reflection almost taking on a personality of her own. If I mentioned the new habit to anyone, they’d be certain I’d lost what was left of my marbles. The truth was that doing so had kept me sane. There were things that had gone on with Stephen that I hadn’t been able to mention to anyone, including Jessica.

And including my own mother.

His desperate need to control DC had turned him into a different man. Yes, he was powerful. He knew everybody. He was glamorous and destined for great things. But I wasn’t the kind of woman who could tolerate being under his thumb, which is exactly what he’d wanted.

I’d been far too embarrassed, ashamed that I’d allow myself to fall so low and to trust so deeply. That would never happen again. Maybe that’s why I remained troubled at what I’d done with Jake. I’d come here to purposely shut down everything, enjoying the freedom of living away from the mess and the constant hounding of reporters. I hadn’t been in town forty-eight hours and I’d allowed someone to get close to me.

“Okay, so you’re a fool. I know it and can make that admittance.”

My thoughts were all over the place. There was so much to do that I didn’t have time to lament over the evening before. I’d stored it away for now as a pleasant memory and nothing else.

Maybe I just needed to prove to myself that I wasn’t a horrible cook. If I didn’t learn, I’d need to hire a chef for the B & B and that wasn’t in the budget.

“What do you say, Moose? Do you want to help Mommy dog make some cookies later when she gets back?” Maybe I wouldn’t kill them.

Otherwise the rugged man with the rough touch would clearly think I was hopeless.

Moose wagged his tail, remaining on the bed and all I could do was laugh.

At least my pup felt like this was home.

After grabbing the glasses from the night before, I walked toward the window. I could almost make out Jake’s house from where I stood. Almost.

For some crazy reason, I searched for his truck, disappointed that it wasn’t in my driveway. Maybe he was angry with me. Or maybe he was feeling as much guilt as I was. The odd feeling of being watched hit me all over again, only this time with so much force that my stomach churned. I scanned the yard, trying to determine why I would think such a thing.

Even the hair on the back of my neck was standing up. Maybe I was experiencing some crazy déjà vu or maybe the memories that had resurfaced given what had occurred with Jake were the reason.

Whatever the case, I was officially sick to my stomach.

As I shifted to the second window, Moose finally jumped off the bed. The growl he issued terrified me even more than the unsettling feeling.

“Shit, baby. I don’t like this.” The sun continued to rise, the bright light forcing me to squint then shield my eyes. There was nothing out there but my overactive imagination and my intangible fear of being alone.

Laughing, the sound hollow, I started to back away from the window when a glint caught my eye.

What the fuck?

There was someone in my driveway. Granted, from where I was standing, it appeared like a big blob, but I was certain of I wasn’t just seeing things even though there were several tall trees lining the driveway. Squinting even more, I changed the angle of where I was standing, also swearing that whoever it was had lit a cigarette or cigar. That incensed me almost as much at being watched.

Not that he or she could see anything inside my window, but still. It was the principle.

Now a rush of anger smacked into my system. I headed to my closet, finding the boots I’d also unpacked. As I struggled to slide my feet into them, Moose continued growling. He’d jumped up on the windowsill, his tail all the way down indicating he was upset.

“It’s okay, baby. Everything will be fine.” Without bothering to tie the laces, I clomped down the stairs, racing toward the front door. Moose was on my heels, finally being the guard dog. However, I wasn’t going to allow him to run free. “You stay right here. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

He fought me to get out the door and almost won. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I took off taking long strides down the driveway. I was halfway to the end before I realized I was still in my robe. To hell with it. I refused to allow anyone to terrify me ever again. I was in charge of my life. Maybe I’d purchase a firearm as well as a new truck. Yeah, that would be just dandy.

Even if I didn’t know how to fire a gun to save my life.

I picked up my speed, finally at a point I could tell that whatever I’d seen wasn’t there. Had I seen a mirage? A tree? Was I really losing my mind? I folded my arms, taking deep breaths. I had to know for certain. I continued walking, although the creepy crawlies finally made an appearance. There was no reason to feel nervous, yet my heart had shifted into my throat.

Courage. Courage. Courage.

That had been my mantra, one of freedom from despair and hatred. Now I had a chance to prove it to myself.

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