Page 59 of Her Rugged Guardian

The way he laughed was telling of how intensely hurt he’d been. “Sweetheart, I’ve learned not to trust anyone, including myself. At least not one hundred percent. However, if I didn’t trust you to some degree, I wouldn’t have fucked you.”

“Oh, so you’ve had a one-night stand before.”

“Plenty,” Jake snorted. “Are you asking me to measure you against the voluptuous blondes who threw themselves at me?”

His sarcastic mode was about to drive me crazy. It was all I could do not to toss my wine in his face. “Why do you do that?”

He polished off his drink before answering, immediately reaching across me, grabbing the bottle. “Do what exactly?”

Just a light brush of his arm against mine and I was tingling all over again. It was impossible to remain irritated with him even if I’d wanted to try.

“Act like you want to get close then pull away? Do you think that’s an endearing quality?”

“Up until now I haven’t given a shit.” He powered back more of his drink, his anger for whatever he’d endured in his past vibrating on his skin. I could feel the intensity as much as I’d felt the heat of our passion before. We were both ripped apart then stitched back together. It was entirely possible we’d never be able to fully trust anyone again.

“No wonder you’re considered the town grump.”

“Yeah? I assure you I’ve been called worse.” When I started to get up to move as far away from his grumpy ass as possible, he clamped his hand down on my arm. I tried to jerk it away, but he glared at me. “Don’t walk away, Cass. I’m not good with talking about my feelings. It’s not who I am.”

I blinked back another embarrassing sting of tears. There was no reason to feel so emotional, at least not right now. “You know the experts say that bad things come in threes.”

He snorted, releasing his hold on my arm but not before rubbing his thumb across my skin. “Maybe you’re right.”

“What is it, Jake? What’s holding you back in life to the point you can’t feel much of anything but anger?” His muscles were coiledtightly, including those in his neck. Maybe it was from being irritated with me, although I sensed his mind had spiraled into the past. Was I the cause of his concern?

“As I told you, Cass. You won’t like the answers. Just drop it.”

“You know what? I was stupid enough to think we could talk like adults, maybe even getting a little bit closer. But that would take you caring about me and I’m not certain you’re capable of anything but hatred and rage. I hate that more than you could understand.”

He laughed. God, how bitter the sound. “I’d have agreed with you even two days ago.”

“Okay. What changed that?” I asked, uncertain I wanted a truthful answer. When he turned his head toward me, his expression softening, he allowed me to see an entirely different side of him, one that was hopeful. But it was fleeting like his moods.

“You did when you crashed into my life.”

I was surprised by his words. So much so that I had a difficult time trying to think of a comeback. “The truth is that I think you crashed into mine.”

“Semantics, baby,” he said, finally grinning like he had while tormenting me with the ice cubes. “What do you really want, Cinnamon Girl? If it’s the perfect man or relationship, I ain’t that guy.”

“Don’t you date?”

Shrugging, he gave me a wistful look. “Dating is for all those idiots who need their egos to be stroked in their lives.”

“You are the most jaded person I’ve ever met. Do you know that?”

“I asked you a question. What do you want?”

“I learned a while ago that what I want is impossible. With you, I just want you to be honest with me. I’m a big girl. I can handle almost anything but lies. I’ve had far too many of those.”

He gripped my chin with his thumb and forefinger. “What did he do to you?”

Why was it that the sincerity in his voice almost made me tear up? My stomach continued to churn from the frank conversation. “Nothing I couldn’t handle, but I won’t tolerate infidelity. Life is too short. You know?”

“Yeah, baby. That much I understand. I’m sorry.”

“All the red flags were there. I just chose not to see them. But to answer your question, coming here felt right, as if all the stars had aligned in the sky. I know it sounds crazy, like a pipe dream.”

“It sounds like a beautiful dream from a stunning woman who needed to find solace in the place her mother loved.”

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