Page 69 of Her Rugged Guardian

I was headed to see my brother as well as the man who’d betrayed me.

CHAPTER 19

Jake

Dating.

Neanderthals didn’t date or at least they shouldn’t in my mind.

The woman l cared about wanted to be taken on an actual date. I’d acted more like a primal barbarian, fucking her first. Okay, so it wasn’t my finest hour, but our physical attraction was off the charts. Maybe Cass deserved going out on the town. The thought made me cringe. I’d been alone for so long that I was set in stone in many ways.

I wasn’t certain if I knew how to carry on a decent conversation on a date anyway. In my mind the concept had been developed by those who knew how to torture normal human beings. I’d never been good at it, no matter the persona of a playboy that had once come across on the small screen. Sure, I was an alpha guy, preferring to be the one to purchase dinner and open doors for women, but I was so far out of practice I wasn’t entirely certain if I’d be labeled a failure.

Besides, Cassandra wasn’t my girlfriend, merely a partial enemy with benefits. The thought almost made me laugh, which was as surprising as everything else that had occurred over the last few days. How the girl had convinced me to consider slapping on my hockey skates again was beyond me, but here I was about to walk into the aging rink.

It was funny how the thought of playing hockey again had never been far from my mind. I’d lived and breathed the sport for so long that it had taken me years before I’d shoved my skates into a brown box, hiding them away. The reality was that I’d used the injury as an excuse not to face what Bruno and Tammy had done.

Because of what Cassandra had suggested, I’d retrieved them from the attic, taking some time to polish the blades. The exercise had been cathartic, allowing my mind to revisit the raw experience before shoving it aside permanently. If I’d looked into a mirror and been honest with myself before this, I’d have been forced to admit that my relationship with Tammy had been easy but not what I’d needed. I hadn’t been the girl’s knight in shining armor either. My cockiness had kept me from facing demons even then.

She’d deserved to be happy, which is what I wanted for Cassandra. I’d also told myself I wasn’t capable of caring about anyone. The way my Cinnamon Girl had awakened the sleeping lion was by all accounts a miracle. Still, I wasn’t certain I wouldn’t end up hurting her.

Maybe what I needed was some time on the ice to clear my head. Even if only for myself. Maybe the fact Riley had cajoled me remained fermenting in my brain. Whatever the case, I’d tossed the skates on the floor of the passenger seat.

Just being outside the rink where I’d honed my skills created a pit in my stomach. I’d done everything to avoid the street the building was on, doing everything in my power to ignore the lure that would be there until the day I died or moved out of the city.

As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed my brother’s vehicle along with several others. Including Bruno’s. He was still driving the same Jeep Cherokee. I pulled into a parking place, keeping the engine idling. A part of me wanted to turn around but if I did, I’d return my emotions to the big black box, shutting out everyone. I cut the engine, taking a few deep breaths. What the hell? This was something I needed to do. Maybe having Cassandra in my life was good for me, better than I’d wanted to admit.

After climbing out, I stared at the skates for almost a full minute before reaching over, yanking them into my hand. As I’d done a million times before, I tossed them over my shoulder and headed to the door. I’d ignored the desire to skate for far too long.

The moment I entered the building, far too many memories popped into my mind. I wanted to hate them, to push them down in the dark reaches of my ugly world, but it was impossible to do while being inside close to the rink.

The noise was everything I remembered, the smell and the frigid cold, which had never bothered me before. I’d been the stupid kid who’d skated on the ice without my shirt on, acting as if that would make me tougher. The memories were bittersweet.

I walked closer, sucking in my breath and heading toward one of the penalty boxes to watch the activity on the ice. The same six guys who’d been at the bar were practicing, avoiding the Zamboni that was parked off to the side. The owner had givenRiley a key, just as he’d done with me all those years ago, the man far too trusting in my opinion.

The group was laughing and grunting as they skated around the ice, one man acting as goalie while the others took wild and random shots. It wasn’t unlike the way I’d taught Riley to play all those years ago.

As I sat down, I concentrated on the game, ignoring everything but critiquing my brother’s skills. When he’d started playing, he used to listen to me, doing his best to follow in my footsteps. As we’d grown apart, he’d started hotdogging it, becoming more of a showman than a decent player. If his professional plays were as bad as what I was seeing on the ice, then I was surprised the rumors were true about Vancouver. They were the toughest team in the NHL, the coach refusing to allow any ‘stars.’

It was true the cameras loved Riley even more than they had with me. He was the All-American boy with dimples and blond hair, the same blue eyes dazzling the girls. Still, seeing him on the ice with his buddies exacerbated the ache in my system. When he made a stupid move, I headed toward the fencing, unable to stop myself from being vocal.

There were terms for the player he’d become.

Now the guys were just goofing off, taking random shots and congratulating themselves as if the training was doing them any good.

“Hey, grinder, why don’t you go back to training camp.”

My booming voice powered over the ice, all six players lifting their heads as they continued spinning on the ice.

I could tell the moment Riley noticed me in the stands, his entire demeanor changing. He skated closer, skidding to a stop, spewing ice in my direction on purpose. “Yeah? Why don’t you come down here and give me a few pointers then, bro?”

The other guys whistled, three of them my former teammates. Bruno skated off to the side and I was certain he was planning on walking off the ice. When he spun around, daring to skate close to the fence, I sensed the man was daring me to do what my brother suggested. The testosterone in the room was thick.

Saying nothing, I held my heated gaze on my brother. One of the last comments my father had made after I’d officially retired was that I had obviously been jealous of my brother’s talent. Maybe I was, but there was more than just hating the fact Riley had become even more famous than I had or that he was still able to play the sport I loved. He was headed down a bad path, one that could eventually destroy him.

The tabloids hadn’t been kind over the years, Riley compared to me far too many times. That had prompted him to become crazier on the ice.

I noticed the other members of the team were skating in formation, glaring at me as if I was the enemy.

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