Page 3 of Lady of Darkness
I swallow. Offuckingcourse they have a tolerance tofuckingpoison.
I take a deep, calming breath as the rest of the night plays out before my eyes.
It was the silence–the pure, unadulterated hurt and fury on their faces–that sent me into a tailspin of nightmares tonight.
None of them said anything after that.
Sterling threw the pan away, and the guys packed up their things at the gym. Without a word, Gideon grabbed my arm and dragged me to his car.
I tried to talk, but every time, he would tell me I’m onthin fucking ice.Whatever the hell that meant. I felt like I was being scolded, like a little girl who got caught lying.
It was humiliating.
He dropped me off and sped away, and I’d been licking my traitorous wounds ever since.
Throwing the covers off with a huff, I walk downstairs for a glass of water. My throat still feels raw from screaming–from crying.
I drink an entire glass before setting it down. Looking out of the dark window, I don’t see anything. But I know they’re watching. If not outside, then somewhere in this kitchen.
Alwayswatching.
It’s only four in the morning, but I don’t feel tired anymore. I make my way to my father’s study, pulling my cardigan tighter around me as I sit down in his chair.
I tried so hard to fight it–to fight this life, this part of me. But the longer I stay, and the more I get to know the order, the more I realize this life is beginning to sink its claws into me, one day at a time. Scribbling on his fancy notepad, I tear the first few pages of notes off. It’s just places and numbers–complete gibberish. I tear the pages one at a time, and then, six pages in, I see my name. My heart skips a beat as my eyes scan my father’s handwriting. His normally neat scrawl is sloppy, like he was in a rush when he wrote it. I glance at the date–a month ago.
Right before he died.
Harlow,
I don’t know if you’ll read this, or even if you’ll see this. If you are reading these words, it’s because I’m gone. I want to say this before it’s too late, so please, listen closely.
If the Lords have found you, go with them.
If you are scared, don’t be.
You can trust them. Know that I’d never lead you astray.
They may seem hard around the edges, but this kind of life is hard for all of us, as you may one day come to find out. They are your brethren, and with them, you will find a true connection unlike anything you’ve ever known before.
Don’t let that connection go.
I made many mistakes, and I regret them every day. If I could erase my mistakes, I would. Whatever they say about me after I’m gone… it’s true.
I was selfish, power-hungry, and I thought I was better than my best friends.
Please don’t be like me.
One last thing… it is an honor to be a Lady of Darkness. Use that honor wisely.
You have a big heart–just like your mother. Which is why I haven’t written a letter for Archie. Do with that information what you will, but I think you can come to your own conclusions.
Take care of Archie.
Take care of Cecelia, as she had no part in all of this. Trust me on this one–it’s important. Cecelia is innocent.
Take care of the Lords. They need you just as much as you need them.
Love,
