Page 63 of Lady of Darkness
Gideon
Alaric,Theo, Sterling, and I all take guest bedrooms while Harlow sleeps in Theo’s bedroom. I can’t sleep. The fucking day keeps playing back in my mind. From Jurgen and Kristoff at dinner, to hearing Harlow tell us she pressed the detonation button, to thinking she was going to die in that goddamn building…
I sit up and run my hand through my hair before pulling it back into a low bun. Sighing, I grab my shirt and joggers, heading downstairs for a bit. Just as I’m pulling my second arm through my sleeve, I look up and see Harlow seated on a couch in the library, reading on her Kindle.
“Can’t sleep?” I ask, taking a seat next to her.
She shrugs. “Too much adrenaline for one day. Plus, my stomach still feels funny from whatever Alaric gave me.”
I nod, rubbing my eyes before pulling her into my chest. Whatever resistance she once had around us is gone. I can feel it in the way she doesn’t fight back, like the cells in her body are drawn to mine. She curls up to my side as I kiss the top of her head. Fisting her shirt, I lift her slightly so that she’s eye to eye with me.
“You did an amazing thing today,” I murmur, gazing at the cute little cut on her forehead.
Her lip wobbles slightly. “I know. But I still feel like a murderer. They teach you in school that violence is not the answer–”
I place a finger over her red lips. “Theyare notus.We live by different rules.”
She nods. “No, I know that. And I was so eager to do it in the moment. But it still feels…” Sighing, she looks away. “I still feel tainted. Like every death corrodes my soul a little bit.” Turning her dark blue eyes toward me, she looks at me through her lashes. “When does that feeling ever go away?”
I’m quiet for a minute before answering. “It doesn’t ever go away. But that’s okay, because it means we still have a conscience. It means there’s a soul left to corrode. Sometimes, I worry this job eats away at everything good in this world. Like it flays my soul with tiny, irreparable cuts, and eventually, it’ll just fall away and I’ll be left hollow and numb to everything around me. But that hasn’t happened yet.”
“That’s why Sterling wears his rings, isn’t it?” she asks quietly.
I nod. “It’s easy for me. I have my mom. Theo has his security system.” She laughs, and I continue. “Alaric has his sense of control. Sterling didn’t have a mother growing up. He didn’t have a tether to his childhood once he joined the order. His mother was dead. His father was dead. He needed something to cling to thatfeelingof life being worth it. He’s all or nothing. And because of that, he took all of this the hardest.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He was always flying to different corners of Europe, drowning in sex and dominance. I thought he was going to off himself. He thought he could outrun it.”
“Like me,” she replies quietly.
I smile. “Sterling never tried to kill us, little monster.”
She smirks, but I can see the regret in her eyes. Her emotions are always so easy to read, but maybe that’s just because of how deep our feelings for her run. We can all sense what she wants, what she needs, before she has to say a thing. And it’s becoming the same way with us. She’s getting to know us so quickly; it’s remarkable. “I said I was sorry–”
I bend down and place my lips against hers, stopping her from apologizing again. It’s not necessary. Her soft lips move against mine, and as I part them with my tongue, she welcomes me with a moan. I growl and flip her onto her back in one breath, and she gasps as I hover over her, using my elbows to prop me up.
“Gideon–”
I move down and pull her sweatpants past her hips in one quick motion.
“Gideon, stop,” she murmurs.
I stiffen, looking down at her bare pussy. When my eyes track back up to hers, she blushes.
“I’m–I started my period earlier.”
“So?” As my eyes meet hers again, my hands rove down her waist and graze her mound. “You think I fucking care about a little bit of blood?” Wrapping my finger around her tampon string, I tug it out gently and discard it into the nearby trashcan.
She gasps. “You can’t–you just–”
Her words break off as I kiss her neck, working my way down to her tits. Lifting her jumper up, I bite down on her left nipple. She arches her back and moans, but still, she’s got more to say.
“We should put a towel down or some–”
I scoot back and spread her legs, hoping to take away any more fretting as I spit into my hand as I look down at her.Fuck.She’s so fucking perfect. Hard, purple nipples. An ass to grab onto. Mesmerizing eyes. A mess of dark curls flowing around her, swollen, pink lips, and the prettiest fucking pussy I’ve ever seen. Ever since she said that she waxed it earlier, I’ve been dying to see it up close.
As I rub my wet fingers against her clit, she lets out a tiny gasp, her hips bucking to meet my touch.
