Page 92 of Lady of Darkness
“Oh? Is that so? Would you be the one carrying a baby for nine months and pushing it out of your vagina?” Theo smiles, and it makes Harlow see red. I hear Gideon mutter“here we go”while Sterling hides his laugh behind a cough. “That’s very easy for you to say. No choice, my ass,” she growls, reaching over and grabbing the piece of paper before tearing it in half.
“Harlow,” I growl, leaning over the table. “You agreed. You set the terms.”
She barks a laugh. “Yeah, four years ago. I can’t believe you remembered the exact fucking date I uttered those stupid words.” Her neck is still slightly flushed, and I see the telltale sign of her thighs squeezing together.
Interesting. Is my little monster aroused?
Standing up, I straighten my tie as I walk around to her side of the table. I see the way her chest rises and falls rapidly as I approach, like watching me prowl toward her still sends a shiver down her spine. As it should. Even four years in, we could still surprise her, still romance the fucking hell out of her.
We could still scare the living daylights out of her, too.
I go behind her chair and place a hand on her shoulder. As I do, her skin jumps so subtly that I probably wouldn’t have felt it had I not been touching her. Swiveling her around to face me, I give her a monstrous smile before I bend my knees and crouch down in front of her.
“If you didn’t agree to the terms, then why did you schedule an appointment with Kitt to remove your birth control implant next week?”
She gasps as I reach out and wrap my fingers around her bicep. “How the hell did you know about that?”
I chuckle, grazing the implant just under her skin. “There’s nothing we don’t know, baby. Haven’t you learned that about us by now?”
Her brows pinch together. “I–I didn’t want to tell you right away. They say you need to wait. It can take a few months.”
“Actually,” Theo interjects, smirking. “A new study that analyzed data from nearly 18,000 women found that fertility returned quickest in patients who had used intrauterine devices or implants. Your fertile window begins tomorrow, and we certainly know how to use a knife, don’t we, boys?”
Her eyes widen as she looks between us. “Seriously? How do you know my cycle better than I do?” Before any of us can respond, she closes her eyes and holds her hand out. “Listen. I don’t have a problem with trying for a baby. You know how much I’ve loved being around Archie. But…” She swallows, opening her eyes as they turn glassy. “I don’t want surrogates. I don’t want random strangers as sperm donors.”
“Harlow, you know that logistically we can’t have five true blood siblings as heirs. It wouldn’t make sense, and it would complicate the delicate lineages we’ve carved out over the years. We’ll each submit a sperm sample and we’ll select only women who understands what the futures of their children will hold. We can all have as many babies together as we want, but the Lords will live on in strangers.”
She blinks and looks me dead in the eye. “That’s the thing. That’s my issue.” She pauses and swallows again. “I don’t think I want the Lords of Darkness to continueat all.”
EPILOGUE, PART TWO
Harlow
I takea deep breath as my statement settles over all four of them. Alaric’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and when I avert my eyes to look at the others, they all seem just as dumbfounded as Alaric. When I look back at him, I try to hide the emotion in my voice as I continue. As I explain what’s been keeping me up at night for months now.
“I vowed to become a Lady of Darkness because I didn’t want to subject Archie to this life. You all remember that. How could I possibly know that five innocent children–children wechoseto bring into the world, mind you–would live this kind of life? The danger, the notoriety… they’d never be able to do what they wanted. I got lucky. I fell into this easily. Who’s to say they will?”
Alaric looks stunned, and I use his silence to keep talking.
“Furthermore, if we have kids, we’re basically lifting them up and keeping them away from that danger, which gives them an unfair advantage.” Sniffing once, I sit up taller and will my face into the cold indifference I’m so used to portraying. “I agree that you can knock me up as soon as you want, however many times as I see fit. But… I think the Lords should die with us.”
They all shift uncomfortably as they consider my words. It’s not crazy by any means. I’ve been thinking this through for months.Years.How could we ever feel right training an eighteen-year-old, knowing we brought it upon them to live this life? Sure, it paid well, but I’d been shot, stabbed, and nearly killed dozens of times. It isn’t safe. That’s a fact. I’d want better for these stranger babies.
Another thought clangs through my mind when I think of everything I’ve been through.
“If we decide to have a baby, we have to give all of this up. We can’t have both.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Theo asks, his good humor from earlier replaced with disgruntled confusion. “You don’t just walk away from this life, Harlow.”
I jut my chin out and cross my arms. “What if I’m shot while pregnant?”
That shuts them up. Theo whips his gaze to Alaric, who reaches out and places his large, warm hands on my thighs. I hate how his touch makes me shiver with desire, even when we’re having a serious conversation such as this.
“What if we have a child and they take him or her like Acadia took me? What if something happens to them? I’ll be out of commission for weeks after the birth, and you’ll be down one person.”
Gideon’s jaw feathers as he runs a hand over his mouth. His hair has silver strands in it now, and he cut it short, like Sterling’s, a few years ago. In fact, they’re all starting to go a bit grey, which I guess is what happens when you’re thirty-six years old.
“We could hire a replacement,” he suggests, wincing.
