Page 129 of My Lucky Charm

“I understand,” she says. “I really do. It’s hard not to feel like you played a part in this.”

“I did play a part,” I say. “I messed up.”

“But he was the boss,” Raya says. “He should be held accountable by more than just your fist.”

“I’m fine, really.” I don’t want to dwell on the fact that Jay abused his authority. I don’t even want to think about it.

“I knew Jay was a jerk, but—” she pulls her hands back into her lap and shakes her head. “I want to kill that guy.” She looks at me.

“Get in line.”

There’s a lull. I had no idea what she wanted to talk to me about when she invited me here, but this was not even in the top ten. I don’t think Raya has ever apologized to me for anything, probably because I’m usually the one in the wrong. And even though she hasn’t come right out and said the word, I think that’s what she’s doing here.

She sighs. “I was so hard on you for starting things up with him in the first place. I thought you were just being typical, optimistic Eloise. I had no idea.”

I shrug. “How could you? I was still processing it all myself.” And maybe I still am. Or I should be. It’s not in my nature to dwell. I’m a pick-myself-up-by-the-bootstraps kind of person. An always-look-on-the-bright-side kind of person.

Not a person who lets something like getting dumped ruin her. In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever grieved a breakup.

And only now do I realize that there is a part of me, a part I buried way down deep, that might need to.

Raya studies me from across the table. “Promise me you’re okay? Like, truly?”

I paste on my best fake smile. “I’m totally fine.”

Raya frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” I say. “I’m just glad to hear that Amber is seeing Jay for who he really is.”

“And you?”

“I bounced back.” But when my gaze meets hers, I see her chewing on something she maybe doesn’t want to say. “What?”

“Did you bounce back or did you bounce right into another doomed relationship?”

I turn my cup around in my hand wishing it was a Dr Pepper. “What do you mean? I’ve been single since we broke up.”

“Grayson. Hawke.” She says this as if his name is enough to make her point.

“I don’t follow,” I say. “Gray is nothing like Jay. And we aren’t a thing.”

“Maybe not,” she says. “But one of your best and worst qualities is that you only see the good in a person. Obviously, there’s an attraction there, and even though he told me he doesn’t see you as anything but his assistant, I just want to make sure you’re being careful. He’s got that adorable daughter, and you’ve always wanted a family and—” She looks at me, and stops talking.

“You were talking to Gray about me?” I admit, my brain snagged when Raya got to the part about Gray saying he only sees me as his assistant. It’s the truth, and I know this.

So why does it feel like a kick in the teeth? Or a betrayal? Or both at the same time?

Raya goes quiet.

“What did you say about me?” The question feels vulnerable the second it’s out.

She winces. “I’m sorry, El, you know how protective I get.”

“There’s a fine line between protective and nosy,” I say. “You crossed it.” I lean in closer. “Haven’t I been humiliated enough?”

She sighs. “I’m sorry, Eloise. You’re right. It’s none of my business. Was none of my business. At the very least, I suppose this whole Amber and Jay fiasco is a good reminder of why you should never date your boss.” Raya says this sort of off-the-cuff, like I’d already been thinking about it, which I totally hadn’t.

She’s obviously given this a lot of thought.

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