Page 35 of The Final Deal

My lips part with the words ready to come tumbling out, but the only thing that passes is a silent breath. I’m not sure how many times I can apologize until forgiveness will finally sink in.

“Babe, we talked about this already,” Zak starts. “I forgave you. I told you I wanted to leave that all behind at the door. There’s nothing left to apologize for anymore. I, um…” He pauses to scratch his chin, and he flashes his teeth in a quick grin. “I actually like seein’ you with Dree.”

My head cocks to the side; the corners of my lips turn upward. “What do you mean?”

His shoulder lifts in a slight shrug, and his smirk is shy. “I dunno. Kinda… feels like this is how it should’ve always been. You, me, and Dree.” He shakes his head with a stern expression as he continues, “But I don’t like how rough he is with you.”

“You ever think he does it because I like it?”

Zak coughs, banging his fist against his chest like he swallowed something unexpected—like the fact his girlfriend isn’t about making sweet, gentle love all the time, but likes being manhandled, smacked around, and humiliated a little bit. “Really?”

I snort and chuckle. “Yeah. How many times have I begged you to fuck me harder?”

His face reddens. “Okay, okay—I get it.”

I watch as he squirms uncomfortably under my watchful stare through a phone screen. Eventually, he steals a glance that prompts me to say, “If it makes you feel any better, we have a safe word.”

“You, um… you ever use it?”

“Once.”

“Oh.”

Gradually, his expression morphs from unsettled curiosity to something more neutral. It takes a hot minute for him to be able to look at me, but when he does, I don’t find the hatred or incredulity that was there when I first returned home.

“I still love the way you make love to me,” I murmur in reassurance. “You’re my sweet teddy bear.”

He rolls his eyes and groans.

“Hey, don’t try to act all macho on me, mister,” I tell him. “I know how you really are. And you’re the biggest, sweetest teddy bear boyfriend a girl could ask for.”

“Keep on and you’ll get a spankin’ from me, too,” he warns.

I beam brightly. “I’m waiting.”

His smile warms me to the core. “You better go to bed before you get into any more trouble.”

I gesture at the bed around me. “I’m already here.”

“Go to sleep, babe,” he clarifies. “It’s getting late.”

“Only if you go with me.”

He reaches over and the light turns off, leaving him illuminated only by phone light. “Happy?”

“I’d be happier if I was in bed with you.”

“Yeah,” he sighs as he closes his eyes. “Me, too.”

His face is peaceful as he breathes in deeply and evenly—a sight I wish was right next to me so I could kiss him all over his face. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, babe. ’Night.”

“’Night.”

I tap theEndbutton and set my phone aside on the bed. Staring up at the black metal rafters above and counting them one by one to encourage boredom to drag me to sleep doesn’t work—not when I’m separated from the loves of my life like this.

Head down and behave, I warn my inner brat, who’s clawing her way toward the light.

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