Page 105 of See Me

I toss the wallet on the desk. “Fucker.”

“Just work on your gag reflex before you take Blaze. Wouldn’t want you to subject her to the smell of fried vomit. No pressure.”

Benny chuckles behind his paper.

“Get out.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice. And thanks for the case of Lucky Charms.”

“Whatever.” I flick my hand in his direction. “Go.”

Benny’s still chuckling, his paper shaking.

“You can go too, old man.”

“You sure you got this?” He nods to the computer.

I sigh and scratch my chin. “No.”

“That’s what I thought. Now if you aren’t going to use that.” He points to the wallet, indicating the gift card.

I take it out and toss it to him. “Take it.”

He smiles and digs out his own wallet. “I love Hibachi.”

The place is damn near empty because it’s Christmas Eve, and thank hell, because I’m not mentally prepared to work the bar. Enzo knows I hate this part of the job and I have no doubt he kept his early departure a secret just to screw with me.

Ella, Benny, and Omar are sharing a platter of fried appetizers at the end of the bar, laughing and talking, while I try to figure out how to run reports on this touch screen that replaced my cash register.

I can’t hear the conversation but the lilt of her laugh floats across the room every so often, and my reaction is to glance over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of her smile. In turn, I have no fucking idea how to work this machine because I can’t keep my eyes on it long enough to figure it out.

Enzo comes home sometime after the new year. Dickhead left without giving me a straight answer. Tomi took time off for personal reasons and thank fuck for that because I don’t have the energy to play referee with these two. So that’s a week. A week of just us. In the bar. At home. After that she starts her teaching job and she’ll be here maybe one or two days a week, if that.

Is that when I should go back to my place? Let the charade end and call it a day? A week? Why does that go down like a jagged rock in my throat?

Because you haven’t slept this good in years.

Having a warm body in bed helps everyone sleep better. That doesn’t mean anything significant. When my skin prickles with goosebumps as her laugh bubbles up and washes over me, it’s then I know

It’s her. I know it’s her. But Jesus Christ does that scare the fuck out of me. I don’t know how to be in a relationship. The last one ended in a disaster of epic proportions. And ended my career. How do I know this won’t be catastrophic? And it’s not her I’m scared of. Although, I’ve had my fair share of being fucked over, I’m terrified of what I’ll do to her. Everything I touch falls apart. Every time I have a thought or dream and strive to reach it, things go to shit. And I’m always to blame.

She has a future, a future I should leave myself out of. She’s been through enough. And that’s only counting what I know about.

Benny said it.

I know it.

But fucking hell, the minute she gets near me all logical thought flies out the window and all I can think about is sinking into her heat, drawing out the little moans I can’t seem to live without, and giving her free rein to pierce me with her sapphire fucking gaze that spreads warmth through my chest. A warmth that’s unwelcome but I find myself going back again and again just to feel the burn.

So, it’s time. It’s time to lay it all out there. Tell her everything and watch her walk away.Run away, because that’s what she’ll surely do. It’s the only logical reaction to my shit. No sane person would stay after hearing it.

The choice should be hers.

A scent of citrus hits me. I look to my left as Ella peers around me to look at the screen. “Let’s go. We can figure it out in the morning.”

I nod and power off the screen as Omar and Benny clear away their mess.

“I’ll lock up,” Omar says as he brushes past. He shares a smile with Ella that holds a hint of amusement and my eyes bouncebetween the two of them. My eyes follow the pair as they make their way to the kitchen. A conversation full of hushed whispers follows as they clean up and I close the place down and turn off the lights. We meet near the door, Ella’s eyes perusing me as I walk up.

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