Page 50 of See Me

Her wrists fit perfectly in my hand and she looks like a fucking goddess with them bound like this. My balls draw up tight as her ass bounces with every thrust of my hips, and I bury myself, chasing my release.

“Luca.”

God dammit.

I can’t see her face, but her eyes are still boring into me in my mind. My cock jerks, and I come harder than I ever have before, my name falling off her lips. Releasing her hands, I grab her hips to pump through my climax until I push myself off her and pull my pants on. I hear her moving behind me, but I don’t turn to look at her face.

Can’t look at her face.

I hold my breath until the door slams behind me.

Don’t feel bad. She knows what tonight was.

Thirty-eight. That’s how many times Tuesday breathes in a minute. That’s the average of course. Sometimes it's thirty-four. The last count was forty-one. I think she was having a dream. Her paws were moving, and she was making little suckling sounds. Must be why the rate increased. And that concludes the scientific experiment I’ve conducted over the last hour.

What’s next? How many right angles and geometric shapesare between the beams on my ceiling? And they said I would never use geometry in real life.

Or maybe I can actually think about what I’m avoiding and get it over with instead of distracting myself with bullshit.

Never, in all my life, have I left after sex without a word. Sometimes it’s a simplehave a good night, orgood session.Maybe adrive safe,see ya ‘round, fuck you, anything. There was a time long ago, when even the‘L’word flowed off my tongue as easily as taking my next breath. But I’ve never left like that. Without even making eye contact. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even breathing until the door slammed behind me.

I don’t exactly pride myself on being a dick, but I’m pretty good at it. It didn’t used to be my go-to character trait, but it’s served me well. It ensures there’s no confusion or mixed signals. No feelings. Even if the sex blows my mind, like last night, I make sure everyone knows the score. But last night,last night, I did more than that. I slammed the book in her face, shredded it, and tossed it into a raging inferno. Definitely no coming back from that.

And, yes, that was my goal. So why can’t I sleep? Why can’t I stop thinking about it?

Because she didn’t deserve it.

No one does. But my delicate ego apparently has its own defense mechanism. And it’s complete fucking annihilation.

Make sure she hates you.

Leave behind complete and absolute carnage.

It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to see her in a few hours, or, you know,every day. I should’ve learned my lesson with Tomi. Never shit where you eat. Even my dumbass brother hasn’t made that mistake.

I blow out a breath and Tuesday stirs and snuggles closer to my neck. I reach for my phone, careful not to move her, and check the time. Two hours after the last time I checked. Sleepisn’t going to happen. Either I’m beyond help, or the label on that calming tea is a fucking liar.

Scooping my hand under the small gray fluff, I slide out of bed, gently placing her back down. She stretches and plops her head down between her outstretched paws, snuggling into the warm spot I left behind.

I dress for the gym and fill the food dishes with Tuesday’s breakfast on my way out the door. It’s a damn good thing I have open access to a gym. I don’t know what I would do if I had to wait until a reasonable hour. The current that flows through my body when I need to hit something waits for no one.

This time the punching bag, and not for the first time, will look like me.

SIXTEEN

MADAM ADAM

“My ass was madefor this car. Or this car was made for my ass. Either way, you’re going to have to fight me to get this back.”

I smile as I look over at Cassie and watch her stroke my steering wheel like she would prefer to be alone with it.

Flashes of last night float through my head. Luca playing my body like a toy he’d mastered years ago, and then tossing me aside as if the newness had worn off. The sound of the door slamming behind him echoes through my mind and settles like a jagged rock in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t exactly expect a cuddle session, but leaving without a word as I floated down frommy orgasmic high felt about as comforting as being doused with a bucket of ice water.

At least now I know he stays true to his word.

Fuck me and forget me, indeed.

I don’t know why I feel so humiliated. People do this all the time, right? Casual sex? Get off and get gone? I got mine; he got his. No messy strings involved. So, if someone could please explain to me why I felt the need to text Enzo that I had a family emergency, pack a bag, and show up at Cassie’s this morning fully prepared to drive ten hours, knowing I can’t afford to eat or fuel up this car, just so I don’t have to see the apathy on Luca’s stupid, handsome face, that would be great.

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