Enzo:
Look, just take a picture of her and prove she’s alive.
Me:
I’m not taking a picture of her.
Enzo:
Why? What are you hiding?
Ella’s phone starts buzzing on the nightstand. I walk over and silence it before it wakes her up.
Me:
Don’t call her! She’s sick.
Enzo:
Are you at her place??
Me:
How else am I supposed to take care of her?
Enzo:
I don’t like the way you say “take care” of her.
Me:
Stop using quotation marks. You’re making this weird.
Look, I came over here this morning to get my cat and she has a really high fever and I don’t think she should be left alone.
Satisfied?
Enzo:
You have a cat?
And it was with Ella?
Like… you share custody of a cat?
What the hell happened over the last 3 days?
Me:
For fucks sake. Can we talk about this another time?
Enzo:
Does this make me an uncle?
Me:
Jesus christ. I’ll call you later.