Page 122 of See Me

I rip through the tape with my teeth, eyeing the gloves still hanging from the hook. “I didn’t realize I never put them on.”

The sting of the alcohol dumped on my knuckles bites just enough to draw attention away from the ache in my chest. Just long enough to hear Benny’s words a month ago ring through my head.

“You feel validated?” I ask him.

He purses his lips and stares at me. “Validated?”

“You were right, after all. You had me pegged longago, didn’t you?” I shake my head and let out a little laugh. “I never managed in all these years to change your mind.”

He caps the bottle and tosses it on the bench. “What the hell are you talking about?”

I lean down right in his face. “I was always street trash, right? I was never going to outlive that label. I wasn’t even good enough for a girl you met two months ago. You’ve known me almost my whole life, but her,her,no I’m not good enough for her.”

He tsks and shakes his head. “You’re the only one who thinks that.”

I whip the towel off my shoulder and throw it across the room. “You said it!”

“I said what you needed to hear,” he says softly.

“Oh, so it’s mind games now? Luca already thinks he’s shit so why don’t we manipulate that and twist that knife while it’s in deep?”

“I never said you were shit. And I never said you weren’t good enough. Isaidif anyone’s gonna end up hurt make sure it’s you. I know your anger runs things, controls every decision you make.”

“My anger made you a fucking career!”

“It also ended it!” He drops his eyes to the floor when he sees the guilt flash across my face. “Look, she walked in that door damn near broken.”

“That girl is nothing but light.Translation…you’re notso don’t fuck her up.”

“That’s your interpretation. Don’t put that on me.”

“You fucking raised me, Benny. You knew what that would translate to in my head.” I put my finger to my temple like a gun, wishing like hell I was the one who died years ago. Longing for the outcome to be the exact opposite of what happened for the thousandth time.

His anger deflates and his eyes land on the floor. “I owe you an apology. I read the situation wrong, okay. I thought it would motivate you. I thought you could heal each other.”

I bark a laugh. “Motivate? Nothing like one of the only people I let in, really let in, taking my weaknesses and using them against me. I should’ve died in that ring instead—”

He pushes me hard in the chest and I stumble back. “Don’t you ever fucking say that again.” The finger pointing at me shakes along with the tremble in his chin. He takes a step back and we turn away from each other, pacing the floor.

He sits on the bench and sections off gauze and tape to mend my hands. “I never had kids of my own, of course you know that.” He pats the bench and I sit next to him. “My wife never could and after she passed, I was too old to think about trying with anyone else.” He dabs antibiotic cream on with a gentleness I’ve never seen from him. “Then I found your scrawny ass getting beat down in an alley. You, Enzo, Marie, you’re the closest thing to a family I ever got.”

His eyes meet mine and I see a shine to them that thickens my throat.

“I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. And you better be damn sure to cry at my funeral and if youevereven hint at dying before me again, I will haunt your ass so hard.”

I chuckle and he smiles.

Benny studies my face. “You love her?” He asks.

I meet his eyes before dropping them to the floor. I shake my head. “No. I don’t love her.”

He nods and turns away from me.

“It’s more than that. There isn’t a word for it.” He turns to me, his brows damn near to his hairline which is impressive, considering he started balding in the eighties.

“She’s completely consumed me. And I let her. I welcomed it. Started craving it.”

“She know that?”

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