Page 125 of See Me

“It doesn't matter anymore. None of those words can be taken back. The only explanation is that you believed them. You may regret saying them but that doesn’t mean you don’t believe them. And I would’ve been left alone to raise a child.”

“I wouldn’t have left you.”

“Lucky me. I get a pity baby daddy. Just what I always wanted.”

He sits on the couch and cradles his head. “It’s not like that.”

“How is it then, Luca? How do you think it would be for me, as a mother to a child I know you didn’t want, to come home every day knowing you’re only there out of obligation? Or better yet, sharing custody and switching every week. Yeah, that would be a dream come true.”

“Will you just let me explain? It won’t fix everything, I know that. Just hear me out and you can walk away. I just really need you to hear why.”

I drop the duffel bag and walk to the chair opposite the couch and sit, arms crossing over my chest.

He scrubs his hands over his face and leans over with his arms resting on his knees. “I was in love once.”

The ache in my chest pounds with jealousy, unreasonable as it is, knowing he isn’t talking about me.

“I met her in high school. We were the same. Nobodies. We had an instant connection and were inseparable from the first day we met.”

I fidget in my seat hearing him talk about himself in such a derogatory way. It hurts to know he believes it, even if I do hate his dumb face right now.

“Even after graduation. Neither of us had a way to go to college. We both worked, saving what we could. Talked for hours about our future. Planned the perfect life.”

I chew on my lip and try not to bounce my foot in annoyance.

Throwing the love of your life in my face isn’t helping here, assface.

“Then I started climbing the ranks in the MMA circuit. I was being invited to tournaments instead of begging for a chance. I started making money. We got an apartment. I’d never been happier. I still had enough pent-up rage from being abandoned by shitty parents to siphon off during a fight. I was unstoppable.

“She—”

“What’s her name?” I don’t know why I need to know, but I do.

He looks at me confused why I want to know. He grins and I narrow my eyes at him, knowing he can read the jealousy pouring out of me. The smile slides off his face and he clears his throat when he sees the look in myeyes.

“Natalia.”

Of course she has a beautiful name.Skank.

Wait, I don't mean that if she’s dead.

“Another year in and we were reaching a point we never thought was possible. I was making stupid money. I had a name peopleknew. It was unbelievable. We got a fancy condo, started mingling with celebrities. She basked in the lifestyle. Quit her job. Became the proverbial trophy wife without us actually being married.”

He sits back and runs his hands over his face and pushes in the corner of his eyes. It’s easy to see how hard this is for him. My stance relaxes and I sit and wait for him to continue.

“I bought a ring. I did. I was just waiting for the perfect moment. The schedule was crazy, though. Always traveling. And she, well, she had an image to maintain now. Or so she said. Always shopping with the wives. Hair done; nails done. She went to parties when I was out of town at other events. She had the thought in her head thatshewas famous. And it changed her.

“I came back from a tournament she didn’t want to go to, she didn’t like the travel part so much unless it was a huge event she knew celebrities would be attending. Anyway, I found her passed out on the bathroom floor, mirrors and glass shattered everywhere. When I managed to wake her up, she told me she was pregnant. I was beside myself knowing she got drunk even with the knowledge that my little baby was growing, helpless, inside her body.”

I can’t even swallow around the lump in my throat. He stands up, unable to sit still. He takes his hat off and balls it up in his clenching fists.

“I thought, okay this isn’t how we planned it but it’s fine. We’ll get married, have a family. The timing wasn’t great, but we could manage. She went into a rage. Screaming that I wasruining her life. She was finallysomebody, and I ruined it by putting a baby in her.”

Luca paces back and forth, eyes darting like a caged animal looking for an escape. The pain in my chest amplifies watching him struggle, but I can’t take my eyes off him. Tears prick the back of my eyes. Then a thought hits me.

Did he kill her?

Did he rage out and kill her? Suddenly the way his muscled arms bunch as he flexes terrifies me. He could easily wrap those hands around my throat and squeeze and I’d be dead in minutes. I sink back into the chair and divert my eyes to the floor.

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