“I’ll think about it,” I finally say.
“Yeah, think about it,” Mom agrees. Then out of the blue, she says, “You know I love you, sweetie, right?”
I frown, though my heart thumps. “Yes, Mom. I love you, too. Why are you saying that now?”
“Just as a reminder,” she says lightly. “Whatever your life choices are, whatever your path is, I’ll always love you. I only want you to be happy.”
Now my eyes sting. “Thank you.”
“So whenever you feel ready to tell me what is going on in your life, I’m here. All ears.”
“Mom…”
“And tell me when you have time to go shopping. Those pumps are gorgeous. Maybe I’ll buy you a pair, too.” She’s back to the bright, brisk mom I know. “You got my legs, they will look fabulous on you.”
We say our goodbyes, I hang up and sit there, thinking. The boys have gone back to cleaning the bedroom. I think I hear the sound of a washing machine inside the apartment. Probably washing the sheets and comforters. One hopes so, at least.
Boys.
Then again Zayne will surely see to it, he’s so tidy and…
And I need to get my life back on track. Onatrack, anyway. It’s kind of gone off the rails right now. I left my path but I need one. A different one. I can’t keep barreling through the jungle.
For instance, I need to call my job and see if I still have it. Check the classes I missed and get the notes. I’m not going to abandon my previous life completely. Not going to turn into a different person and enjoy running about the house barefoot and pregnant, either.
Not yet, anyway, I think and frown. Wait. Where did that come from?
Anyway…yeah.The boys and I still need to talk.
* * *
“A pack,” Casey says. “Yeah, I thought I heard you say that. Then again, the heat was making me crazy and I thought I was hearing things.”
He has his hands clasped in his lap. We’re sitting in Zayne’s living room because he actually has one, not just a kitchen table to gather around. We’re sitting on the long sofa and the two comfy armchairs flanking a big-ass TV mounted on the wall.
And we’re having The Talk.
It wasn’t even my suggestion. It was Ronin who said,“Hey guys, shall we talk pack business?”
Just like that.
As if we’re a done deal.
And the way Ronin has his arm around me, it kind of feels like it is. Grey is on my other side, one hand on my knee, Zayne and Casey in the armchairs.
They feel too far away.
Which makes this talk seem even more serious.
“You’re all so quiet,” Zayne says. He’s leaning forward, hands hanging between his knees, a crease between his dark brows. “Don’t you like the idea of a pack?”
I open my mouth but I hesitate. Why isn’t nobody saying anything? Then I decide I’ll take the plunge and see what happens. After all, what if they’re all hesitating for the same reason? Sometimes all you need is to see someone dive into the deep and you find your courage.
“I never thought I’d find a pack,” I say. “I’m a beta. I was raised with beta values and norms. You know I was looking for a beta to spend my life with. But now… I’m tempted to be with you guys. To have a pack with you.”
“Very tempted?” Ronin grins down at me.
“Very, very tempted.”