Page 29 of Gigi and the Gym Rats

“Ron,” I say.

“Fuck.” He releases me, basically shoving me away from him, and his cheeks, I notice, are turning an interesting shade of crimson. “Sorry. You okay?”

“Yeah, great. Thanks for the catch. Must have stepped on a pebble.”

It wasn’t because I was staring at his mouth or anything. Nope. Never.

“Anyway,” I say as we start running again. “I met a cute beta guy there. Only, he had to run. Something important he had to take care of.” I’m totally making this part up but so what? “Spiky hair, dark eyes.”

“Spiky?” Ronin slows down, a scowl on his face. “What did he smell like?”

“I don’t know. Apples? Oh, wait, he said he knew you. He?—”

“Fuck,” Ronin says and speeds up.

“Ron? Hey, wait.” I run after him. “What’s going on? Where do you know him from? Can you give him my number? He was really cute. Ron!”

But he just races away without another word and I end up running the rest of the way home on my own. I’m so pissed with him. I mean, what the hell? What happened there? He was the one who wanted to go jogging with me.

Don’t tell me he got jealous that I found that beta cute?

* * *

Ronin is… sort of avoiding me. At least I think so. I don’t know why, but since our jog, he’s been absent. This morning, he marched into the kitchen, grabbed some cereal, and marched back out, leaving me to gape after him.

What in the world happened? Imagine if I’d kissed him, like I did with Casey. But no, this came out of the blue.

As for Casey, he’s kind of absent, too. The apartment is empty.

Makes me feel kind of lonely.

And guilty, as if I’ve done something wrong.

The only solution, like always, is to throw myself into my studies and work. I can’t quite focus, though. My psychology course isn’t making much sense right now. I want to throw my laptop against the wall. Biology feels boring. I mean, what do I care about single-cell organisms anyway?

I’m having enough trouble with more complex organisms, like boys.

I’m starting to wonder if studying has any purpose at all. I mean, I know. Broad education shapes a person, opens up more work opportunities, looks good on a CV. Plus, you may end up loving your special area of work.

It also gives you a debt to carry with you for the rest of your life and makes you overqualified for plenty of jobs and…

Don’t listen to me. I guess I’m just feeling kind ofmehright now. I should talk to the college counsellor, see if she can help me get my positive outlook back.

Sitting at the kitchen table, staring into the depths of my mug won’t save me from the black hole, though, so I do what I always do when I’m down.

I grab my duffel and head to the gym. It’s not far on foot, and the fresh air helps clear my head. I’ve been coming to this gym since I moved here from the suburbs where my family lives and I know everyone here. Ronin is here all the time, as well as his friend Kade sometimes, one of Bee’s boyfriends, and I think I’ve seen Casey coming out a few days ago. Didn’t he say he works there?

It’s the obvious choice. Only a ten-minutes’ walk from our place.

But I’m focused on myself today. I pull my hair back in a ponytail, shed my light jacket, lock my stuff up in the locker, and go in search of my Bodypump class.

Sometimes we get Jenny, a pretty alpha, sometimes Zayne.

Guess who’s the teacher today?

Let me give you a clue: muscular chest.

And I shouldn’t care about who’s teaching us. Focused on myself, remember? On stretching those muscles, feeling the burn, stepping out of myself and emptying my mind.

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