Page 68 of Gigi and the Gym Rats

“You were? About what?”

Ronin sighs and straightens. “I’m not.”

“You’re not what, Ron?” Sawyer still looks like he might punch him. “Be less cryptic, please?”

“I’m not attracted to just any pretty face. And not to all omegas, though Sawyer could really up his suppressants.”

“The fuck,” Sawyer says, sniffing his armpit. “Nonsense.”

“I have to go,” I say and start toward the door without waiting to see if anyone has heard me. “I need some air.”

Hurrying out of the café, I stand on the sidewalk for a long moment, drawing in the fumes of the cars passing by and the sugary aromas from a bakery further down the street.

Ronin is an idiot.

And I’m an even bigger one.

I just asked the girls to find me a beta to go out with. So why am I so shaken that Ronin tried to kiss Sawyer, whatever stupid excuse he gave for it or not?

* * *

“Gigi, mind getting that customer for me? My hands are literally full here.” My co-worker Dean arches a brow when I just blink at him. “Did you get into the catnip stash?”

“Sorry.” I shake my head. “Customer. Got it.”

My mind is still caught on this tangled knot of threads. This tangle of boys. On the why I liked the thought of Ronin and Grey together. Why the thought of Ronin and Casey together also pleases me. And Zayne… I shiver. He’s like the top dog, and I can see him at our center, directing us, controlling us, protecting us…

It’s a picture that threatens to take over my thoughts. It’s comforting and at the same time so hot I can’t stand it. My heart pounds whenever it pops up and it’s happening more and more lately. This past week. These past few days.

I can’t trust myself to know what I need, I’ve decided. This is a fantasy. An omega’s fantasy. Not mine. My circle of friends has really influenced how I think of the future. I just have to backtrack enough to find my own path again.

Not because I think betas can’t have harems. It’s because I thinkIcan’t. Shouldn’t.

Why, though?

Is it because my father struggled so much with the idea? Because in his case it meant he wasn’t cut out for such a life, for the nuclear family scheme, and I am. I am totally a beta. I like being one. I don’t want to be anything else. It should come naturally to me, a monogamous relationship.

So why, why am I into all these guys?

Why can’t I be your average beta, that middle statistical range who is happy to do as every other beta does and never has any doubts?

Like my mom.

Like the daughter she’d like me to be, even if she keeps giving me all those motivational slogans, like,Be Yourself! And Be Your Own Person! Don’t Do What Others Do!

But what if I want to? What if I want to be a good beta but I’m having trouble?

20

GIGI

“So you’re… John?”

“Paul,” he says.

“And you like sports?”

“Football,” he clarifies. “I like football. And baseball.”

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