Page 88 of Gigi and the Gym Rats

“He’s been in a downward spiral for years. Alcohol, drugs. Violence.”

His face hardens. “Has he hit you?”

“Just once. I’ve learned to stay away from him since.”

“Motherfucker.” Zayne’s eyes burn with anger. “Sounds like your brother has been sinking for years. Saving him isn’t on you.”

“Yet he’s my brother and I love him,” I whisper. “I’d do anything to save him.”

“People have to want to save themselves. People have to want to change. Change is hard. What are you so scared of?”

“That making a misstep will destroy me.” My breath hitches. “That I will sink, too.”

“You’re not your brother, or your father. You need to do what makes you happy. Everything else is bullshit.”

“How do you know what to do?”

He’s like a rock. Unmovable. Certain of himself and what he wants.

“Let me take you home,” he says again, gently, like the first time. “I don’t think you’ll find answers here.”

No answers in more cocktails or at the bottom of a bottle.

Like my brother, I think, so shocked I let him get me on my feet and guide me out of the bar. I’m falling like my brother. Is he confused like me? Is that why he sank, why he left?

Avoidance. Escapism. Compromise.

Leaving sounds like a solution right now. Losing myself seems easy. I don’t know what to do. How to fix this. How to find a path that leads to happiness.

But I don’t want to leave. I want to stay and find trust. Zayne makes me want to believe.

Believe that everything I want is possible. That there is a future with all of us in it.

Maybe my brother needs a Zayne, too.

* * *

The door opens before I manage to push the key into the look, and a wild-eyed Ronin greets us. “Gigi! Zayne.” He steps back, letting us through. “I thought you were someone else.”

“Who did you expect?”

“Casey.”

I frown. “Isn’t he in his room? I thought he was working on his laptop.”

“He’s not.”

“Why, where did he go?”

“I don’t know.” Ronin takes my hand, tugs me to him. “Fuck, I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “Maybe he’s visiting a friend, or family. We’ll find him.”

“I scared him away. I scare people off.”

“No, Ron.”

“I scared you off, too,” he breathes and his voice is tight like it’s about to shatter. “Kept to myself, tried to keep everyone away… I hurt you. Hurt Grey. He’s gone, too.”

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