Page 15 of The Summer of Wild

"You're not going to listen to them, are you?" Panic. I'm panicking.

Cash shrugs helplessly. "They're paying for my trip. And for college. What am I supposed to do?"

Choose me, Cash. Tell them to fuck off and spend the summer with me. Who cares about Johns Hopkins? We can find you another school.

"I don't get a say in this, do I?" I guess.

He doesn't respond.

"Do I, Cash?" I try again.

"I... I think it would be good for us to spend the summer apart, too," he sighs.

"You mean so you can go to Europe without any strings attached?" I challenge. "Is that what you want? The freedom to hook up with whoever you want while I stay here and wait for you?"

Cash looks hurt as I jerk my arm out of his grasp.

"No. That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?" I raise my eyebrows.

On the outside, I know I'm projecting. But on the inside, my heart is quivering and breaking apart. Kind of like a glass sliding off the counter in the middle of an earthquake.

"We should take a break, Ingrid. I don't know who I am without—"

"Don't finish that sentence!" I warn.

"—you."

"I think you do," I shake my head.

"I haven't thought much about a future without you in it," he lies. Liar, liar, liar!

"You s-should g-go," I choke out as Cash's face falls. "Go on your stupid backpacking trip, and then go live in Baltimore and forget all about me! I know you will. Even Wilder thinks so."

"Wilder thinks that?" Cash chews on the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah," I blow out a tired breath. "It's not just me who sees a change in you. Are you also breaking up with Wilder before you go?"

"I'm not breaking up with you, Ingrid," Cash laments. "I... it's two months apart."

"Are you going to call me?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I'll have cell service—"

"Email me?" I add. "Send me a postcard?"

"My parents think we shouldn't communicate while I'm gone," Cash reveals.

"Then we're done, Cash. This is over. I'm not spending my life waiting for you."

"Don't say things you don't mean." He tries moving closer again, but I back up against the front door.

"I'm not going to spend my summer hoping you realize your parents are wrong. Go to Europe, Cash. Have fun. But I won't be here when you get back."

I try ignoring the tears forming in Cash's blue eyes. I try ignoring my heart banging and clanging against bone and muscle, trying to get to him. I try ignoring the fact that his parents are control freaks who won't let him live his own life. I try ignoring how hurt Cash looks.

But when a tear slips down his cheek, my heart can't take it, and I reach for him. As my arms circle his neck, he cries into my shoulder.

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