Page 40 of Redemption

“Presley, you need to tell him. You’re runnin’ out of time.”

I sigh. “I know, Mama. I asked him to meet me by the pond about an hour from now.”

My mother takes a seat beside me at the end of my bed. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind? I know it hurts, honey, but my gut is telling me this is the wrong move. Just take a little more time, and if you still want to go to New York by the time winter term rolls around, so be it.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, warding off the tears. “I can’t stay here anymore. Everything reminds me of what I lost.”

She gives me a pained smile. “And that includes Beckett?”

“Especially Beckett,” I admit. “I can’t... I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. There’s this giant void between us I don’t know how to overcome. He’s so sad—I know he is—but Beck tries hiding it because he thinks he has to be strong for me. Like, if he showed me his sorrow, it’d make mine even worse. We used to be able to tell each other anything. Now... now, it’s like every conversation is forced. It’s so awkward. We’re walking on eggshells around each other, and I hate it.”

“So, tell him that.”

“I did!” I throw my hands up. “But Beck’s a problem solver. He refuses to give up until he can find a way to fix me. Fix us. I wish it were that easy, but I don’t know if I’m capable of being whole again. You know, I’ve spent these last two months being angry at God, but when NYU got back to me, sayin’ they still had room for the fall semester, I felt like maybe it was a sign. Maybe this is God’s way of puttin’ me on the path to healing. I need a fresh start, and New York will give me that fresh start.”

“Presley, that boy loves you with his whole heart. There isn’t anything Beck wouldn’t do for you. Love like that doesn’t come around very often. Some people go their whole lives and never find it. If you walk away... if you leave him... it’s going to break his heart. And if you do that, you may never get another shot. Beck will eventually move on. He might fall in love. Not that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love you two share, but he could find enough happiness with another woman to make a life with her. They could get married and have babies... all things you two were meant to do together. Are you really willing to risk losing that?”

My tears are falling freely now. The thought of losing Beck forever is terrifying. Picturing him marrying another woman, having babies with her makes me want to curl into a ball and die. But I’m no good to him like this. I need to figure out how to fix myself before I can be the woman he deserves.

“If Beck and I are meant to be together, it’ll work itself out. My mind’s made up, Mama. I have to do this. I am doin’ this.”

Now, she sighs. “I hope you don’t regret this, Presley Anne.”

Me too, Mama. Me too.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Presley

I can’t get over how much growth this area has seen in the time I’ve been gone. I’ve been driving around in my dad’s old truck for over an hour, taking it all in. Right on the outskirts of town, there’s a relatively new shopping center with various stores, including a Piggly Wiggly, a CVS, and a Walmart. Luckily for me, they also had a Verizon store, so I didn’t have to travel forty-five minutes each way to get a new phone. For obvious reasons, I needed to get rid of my joint account with Sebastian. As much as things have changed around here, I’m pleased to see Main Street seems relatively untouched, except for a few new businesses, namely the coffee shop I’ve got my eye on. It’s not even noon yet, and I’m already dragging, so I decide a caffeine boost is in order.

I haven’t slept well in quite some time, but it’s been even worse over the last few weeks. I’ve been plagued with these horrible dreams about the night I confronted Sebastian. I keep reliving that moment again and again with startling clarity. When I wake up, my heart is racing out of my chest, and I’m so distraught, falling back asleep is next to impossible. Last night was especially rough because I had only been asleep for two hours before the nightmare woke me.

A bell dings over the door as I walk into Java House. I take a deep breath inhaling the aroma of freshly ground coffee. When I look up and see a familiar face behind the counter, my eyes widen.

“Nicky?” Damn. She was always pretty, but she’s become even more beautiful over the years.

Nicky’s pale blue eyes narrow, and her lip curls. What the heck?

“It’s Nicole now.”

“Oh. Um... okay. How’ve you been, Nicole? It’s good to see you.”

I don’t understand why she’s giving off such hostile vibes, but I know I do not imagine it. Is she mad at me for not reaching out to her after I moved? We were friends in high school, but we weren’t especially close. She wasn’t the person I confided in or spent any significant time with except cheerleading. Beck and I were together so often, we didn’t see our friends much outside of school or bonfires.

Nicky... uh, Nicole smiles. It’s a practiced smile, one I’m familiar with. Whenever Sebastian needed me to attend a business function with him all night long, I’d be on the receiving end of those plastic smiles.

“Why, I’ve been great, Presley. Aren’t you sweet for askin’?”

I don’t miss the fact that she doesn’t ask how I’ve been.

“Sure. Of course.” I look around the cute little shop. “So, you work here?”

Nicole straightens her spine. “I own it. All by myself.”

“Oh, that’s great. Congratulations.”

There’s that smile again. “Aw, bless your heart.”

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