Page 39 of It Never Was

Devon yanks me up by my throat. "Show me how you would take it for another guy, Ryen." He snarls, "Show me how you can be a good little slut!"

The tears won't stop now.

But that doesn't stop Devon from returning to my lips, slamming his body on mine once again. Tugging at my jeans, unfastening them, and discarding them faster than I can comprehend, before turning his attention to his own pants. All while he still has my throat is his grasp.

The palpitation in my heart causes the blood behind my ears to pound.

No, no, no…this isn't happening! This can't happen again.

Devon wouldn't do that to me. He knows about my past.

Before I can fight him off more, he is slamming his cock deep into me. His eyes closed as he lets himself enjoy this.

Bile rises up my throat.

"Yeah, you'll learn your lesson now," he grunts through his teeth, his pace picking up, eyes now open wide as he revels in the scene unfolding in front of him.

"Fuck…you feel so good." He slams into me hard, causing a painful whimper to escape. "You look so good with those tears in your eyes. Look at me!" he growls.

My mind and body go numb.

My head spins.The room doesn't seem to want to stay in focus as my memories flood in all at once.

Cigarette smoke and whiskey, that's what it smells like. At ten years old, you shouldn't know those smells so distinctly. He inches closer to me on the couch, my mother passed out on the other end. His palms are clammy as they rub against my leg, coming to pull on the ends of my pajama shorts.

"You are so pretty, bet all the boys at your school say that to you." His body leaned onto my shoulder. The smell of smoke grows stronger as he creeps closer.

I just came down for a drink of water. I should have gotten it from the sink in the bathroom upstairs. He asked me to sit. I didn't want to be rude to my mom's friend.

Devon's hold loosens up as he revels in the tears running down my face. How I wince with every painful thrust. He is losing himself in his own sick ecstasy.

His face scoops down, his tongue darting out. Hotness meets my cheeks as he gathers my tears on his tongue. Leaving a wet path in its place. He smiles and says, "God they even taste good."

I let my muscles relax, feeling numb lying there with no fight left in me, as I let my mind drift into the darkness behind Devon's head.

I can't look at him.

The smell of cigarettes and oaky musk that once comforted me causes me to gag now. I try not to let it show.

Each thrust becomes harsher, more painful and tears start to flood my eyes more and more.

My body betrays me, growing wetter.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

My mind punches me over and over again for how my body is reacting to him.

I don't want this!

"Yeah, you like it like this, don't you." Devon's breath lowers to my ear, and I can't stand the way it makes my skin crawl. "You like learning your lesson, so wet to have me teach you."

No. No. No.

I can feel the buildup in my lower stomach.

The unwanted peek.

I can't, I shouldn't.

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