Page 18 of Enjoying the Band in Lockdown

“Stop wriggling. I don’t want to drop you on the rocks, okay? I didn’t think about the tide and I don’t want you slipping on the rocks, but I don’t want to drop you, either.”

Just like that, Jax went from asshole to hero. I stopped struggling, clinging to him. Terrified that he’d slip with my extra weight and awkward hold. But, he made his way across the mossy rocks as surefooted as a goat. Only stopping when he reached the eastern most point. The same headland where we’d shared a kiss that had given me hope.

That somewhere beneath asshole Jax was a man to be desired for more than his body.

Almost gently, he slowly lowered me until my feet were steady against the tide rushing against our ankles.

“Sydney?”

“Yes.”

“My Lolita.”

He flicked his tongue, the dark metal catching my attention. While I’d been getting ready, so had Jax.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“What’s the opposite of hate?”

“Love,” I said without thinking.

“Why do you love Xavier so much?”

“Who says it’s love?” I’d purposely tried not to think in terms of L-words.

“How do you know what love is?”

“I thought I did, but I don’t anymore.” My previous life had been left behind, along with stupid promises and a mountain of regrets. I deserved better than a gilded cage with threats and punishment if I dared to challenge the lock. This might not be love, but neither was my past.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“That I don’t want to talk.”

Standing on the edge of the world, the sea breeze flicking my ponytail into a frenzy, I waited for Jax to make his move. I didn’t want to be the first to show vulnerability. I didn’t want to be the first to show him how much I craved his touch, to finish what we’d started in the bus.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, hands now gently resting on the curves of my hips. Hands large enough to play with my waistband and the hem of my cut-offs. Crumpling them together so they might as well have not existed.

“I don’t know.” Surely, he’d bought me here for a reason. Rushed me to this rock before Xavier could catch up, for a reason.

“Really?”

“In the bus, you don’t like me. You want me to beg you for sex, but you don’t like me. I get it.”

“Sydney, you don’t get anything.”

He tasted of salt, and ocean, and freedom. All our previous kisses had been for a purpose. To punish me or Xavier, to play to an audience. To mess with my head.

None of them had prepared me for Jax kissing for the pure joy of making my mouth his. My tongue flicked around, exploring the hard metal in his. My body already crying out to know joy.

The more Jax gave, the more I returned. Giving into my every stupid emotion. If this was all we’d ever be, I didn’t want to deprive myself of even one second.

The more we kissed, and the more I gave, the more I wanted to cry. To collapse into the ocean and be washed away. What I hadn’t expected, was Jax’ reaction. When he pulled away, brushing my lips with his thumb, he seemed shocked.

“I’m gonna regret this,” he said, taking me again by the wrist. Carefully helping me back over the rocks to a small cave. Invisible unless you knew where to look.

“What’s this?”

“I wanted the perfect place for the perfect time for the perfect woman.”

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