Page 17 of Enjoying the Band in Lockdown

“So, do it. I want the song to become your signature song. I want it to blow Xav’s brother out of the water and I want you all to get what you deserve. But I don’t care whether it’s a love song or whether it’s about me. I only care that when people watch the online concert, yours is the only song they remember. That Dirty Blonde is the only song that anyone is talking about, and the only question is why would Deacon Galis ever give his brother a chance to overshadow him.”

If it was possible to love more than one man, I did. But, I also loved Xavier a little more. But I wanted to know all the secrets of Jax. I wanted to know more than his kisses or his hands. But, at the same time, Xavier needed to be the rockstar I knew he was destined to be.

“Half an hour, forty minutes, I don’t care how long it takes. Jax and I are walking out of here after lunch and you’re not gonna follow until you and Chase have nailed the final verse.”

Even though we all ate in the beer garden, serenaded by the native cockatoos and parrots, we could have cut the tension with a knife. At least Chase and Xavier tried to get a head start on the final verse, trading ideas and getting closer to some sort of agreement.

“Ready?” Jax asked from the far end of the table. I’d sat in between Xavier and Devon, joking it was my favorite position.

“I’ll grab my shoes, okay?”

I also swapped my crop top for one of Devon’s camo shirts. He still hadn’t opened up since the hotel room, and I wanted him to know we were still an us. But before I left our room, the sunlight glistened off a silver chain. Xavier’s chain. Thick, silver or platinum with a small vial filled with dark green crushed rock. I’d asked Xavier about it one night when lying on his chest. Fingering it gently, loving the cool glass and shaking the contents.

“Labradorite.”

“What? I’ve never heard of it.”

“It reminds me to not get too caught up in working. Sometimes a song refuses to be written, or a tour schedule doesn’t want to work. I’ll spend days caught up fighting a problem. This reminds me to take a step back. Find calmness and balance. When I do, it all works out.”

“Labradorite?”

“Crushed. I got a rock online and crushed it. Put the vial on the chain mum gave me for my twenty-first.”

Taking a risk, and almost as an afterthought, I put it on. Making sure it draped over Devon’s shirt. Unmistakable against the black. My own personal talisman to scream to the world, no matter what I was or wasn’t wearing, I was Xavier’s.

“Didn’t think to ask?” Xavier saw it first. Before I drew to a standstill in front of him. Still. Very still.

“I’m going for that walk with Jax. Do you mind if I wear this?”

Xavier didn’t need an explanation. His eyes softening as he understood. “Consider it ours. For as long as you’re with me, you can wear it. But the moment you stop wearing it, we’re through.”

More than I expected. He’d just given me more than I expected or deserved.

“Do you mind if I go for that walk now?” Part of me wanted him to make me stay. Turn the stupid competition on its head and make me his and his alone. But then again, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering—had I missed out on something with Jax.

No.

“Like we said, I’m giving the two of you a head start to do what you gotta do. I’ll see you on the headland.”

“Well, I can’t wait to come back and hear the song.”

We’d barely turned the corner from the pub when Jax grabbed my wrist. The more I fought, the tighter he held on.

“What’s with you?” I winced.

“This isn’t a lover’s stroll and I want you to keep up.”

“Why?”

“Because, my little Lolita, those two assholes are now going to agree. They’re gonna come up with some kick-ass lyrics just so they can kick Xavier out to come after us.”

Jax didn’t take time to enjoy the sand, or sun, the view or even that we were the only people on the beautiful beach. He didn’t take time to enjoy any of it. He was too busy pulling me along towards the headland. The retreating tide still covering the rocks we’d stood on only days ago. I slipped in my sandals until Jax couldn’t take me slowing him down any longer. As easily as he picked up a breadstick, he slung me over his shoulder.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Stop wriggling.”

“Put me down?” I tried to break free. Damn it, this alpha asshole routine wasn’t working.

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