Page 94 of Antidote

“How often?” I ask conversationally, though I am just memorizing every tidbit of information I can gather about him.

“Almost every day.” Wow. “He told me he has a gallery opening in five days. 52 Walker Street. Eight p.m.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Conrad glances around with a knowing smile. “I thought maybe you’d like to buy a painting. This place practically looks like a doctor’s office. No, wait, at least a doctor’s office is semi-decorated.”

“I’m barely here.” I roll my eyes, mentally taking note of the address and time he provided because I’m showing up, yet also trying to play it cool. I refuse to show him how desperate I am. “So it doesn’t matter.”

“I have a feeling you’re going to be bringing someone home soon,” he replies, implying Ollie will come. “Might want to make it nicer in here.”

I nod once, then whisper, “Thanks, Dad.”

Wordlessly, he gets up and puts his suit jacket back on. I know what he’s doing—leaving before I kick him out. I feel bad, yet I’m also grateful to not have to make any more conversation. All I want is to get in bed since it’s yet another day without the love of my life. But at least I get to text him. I walk Dad out to the elevator and give him a hug.

“Dad,” I whisper. “I—” Fuck. “I forgive you. Not because you gave me that address, but because I need to. I don’t want to live my life hating you.”

He smiles sadly, his blue eyes crinkling. They’re the same shade as Ollie’s, and my heart squeezes in my chest at that thought. “I love you, son.”

“Me too,” I say sadly.

Conrad pulls away first, and I step away, letting him enter the elevator. With one last somber look, the doors close, and I stand there for one short second.

I don’t waste any time before going to my room, shedding my clothes, and throwing them on the ground. I don’t even care that it’s one of my most expensive suits, I just get in bed and hide under the covers like I used to do with him. The only light is that of my phone as I pull up our text message thread. He’s read all of our messages; I only know because it shows me underneath it. I bet he hasn’t even noticed his read receipts are turned on.

Hunter

That overtime goal was for you, baby. If you didn’t see it, watch the highlights. I love you as much as I did a year ago. Even if you never give me a chance again…I still needed to tell you. Good night, Blue.

I wait for one full minute before giving up, except right as I’m about to lock my phone, I see bubbles popping up. I hold my breath, my stomach clenching painfully, and bile rising to the back of my throat. Oh, fuck. He’s actually replying. What do I do? What is he going to say? Is he going to tell me he loves me back? Or is he finally sick of me and my messages? Is he going to tell me to fuck off?

But just as I get my hopes up, the bubbles stop, and no message comes through. I sigh in disappointment and wait another full minute before locking my phone and setting it on the bed beside me. I should’ve never gotten my hopes up, but this is the first time in years that I feel even a semblance of it. I’ll have to try again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day.

Until he has no choice but to take me back.

The hustle and bustle of the city wakes me up, and I groan. I got home at five in the morning from yet another unsuccessful date. I even let him take me home, and yeah, the sex was good, but it wasn’t…explosive. I don’t think I’ve had that in a year, unfortunately. It pisses me off that even after this long, I still think of him and compare every other guy to him. I roll my eyes because who am I kidding? He’s probably going to be the love of my life for as long as I’m breathing. Which is why I did the walk of shame as early as possible.

Huffing in annoyance, I sit up in bed and look out the floor-to-ceiling windows that display the city. When I told Jamie I wanted to live in Manhattan a year ago, I never actually thought the dream would come true. Except here I am, waking up to this. I just wish I had someone to share it with, like Jamie does. He has two people, actually. Sometimes, it’s kind of awkward to live with three other men, but it works out. They have a California king-sized bed and a very spacious closet. Thankfully, that means I only pay one-fourth of the rent. Not that I’m hurting for money. I actually have a very successful business.

I was no one when I got here, and now I’m one of the biggest names in the art world. It’s insane how quickly everything happened, how fast I grew and became the person I was always meant to be. There were definitely growing pains, but Jamie and I adjusted faster than I thought we would. The cost of living here is outrageous, and while Conrad was paying for my part of the rent for a while, it was still hard.

I didn’t achieve all of this on my own, though. Jamie was crucial to my success. He picked up the slack when I needed him to, and he was my shoulder to cry on for months on end. Now he’s got not one, but two men pining after him. Guess the dick must be really good. Dylan followed him out here after we finished college. He immediately got a hotshot job in finance, and it saved our lives when he started taking over the bills. I was honestly surprised when he didn’t want to go pro. He was really good…just not as good as the first-round pick.

I grab my phone from the nightstand and check the time. Holy fuck, it’s three in the afternoon. I didn’t expect to sleep in this late, but I needed to rest after last night. I cringe when I unlock my screen, reading a message from Jacob—the guy I went out with the previous night. I should’ve never given him my number because I don’t do second dates. What a stupid fucking choice.

Right below his name, is the one person who can still stop my heart in my chest.

Hunter

Good night, Blue. I love you. Always will.

Hunter

Good night, baby. Sweet dreams. Of me. I hope.

Hunter

Are you ever going to talk to me again?