Page 107 of Sin Like the Devil

He shakes his head. “You’re so ungrateful.”

“Tell me what I should be grateful for, then. The missed birthdays? Weeks left in the care of your staff? Being stuffed with medication? Or packed off to the first place you could find to keep your batshit-crazy niece quiet?”

“I’ve taken care of you for all these years.”

“No. You’ve tolerated me. Sometimes even that was too much to expect. I’m another business transaction to you like everything else in your life.”

I wonder if I see a flicker of regret. Or even sadness. But his clear grey eyes don’t reveal any such weakness, and the perfect poker face he’s used on me for my entire life never once falters.

I wish I cared as little as he does. I’ve spent a year trying to emulate that same business-minded detachment. And where has it got me? To this goddamn hospital bed.

“I don’t know why Mum left me in your care. Perhaps she thought the day she wouldn’t be around anymore would never come. You were nothing more than a last resort to her.”

Not even a flinch. It’s like my words bounce right off him and roll back into the ocean without pulling him under. He straightens his cuffs before sweeping his gaze around the clinical room.

“Do you even care?” I feel more tears spill over.

“About what?” He sighs.

“Me!”

Jonathan clicks his tongue. “I care about the investment you’ve squandered by getting into pointless fights with your peers. Your place here is hanging by a thread.”

“And it would be so inconvenient if I wasn’t quiet and off your radar, right? Do you even want me to go home?”

His lips purse. Not even a nod. He can’t muster the smallest amount of energy it would take to make me feel the slightest bit better. Is it any wonder that I’ve turned out like this? I learned from the best.

My cheeks sting with the lash of salty tears over deep bruises and swelling. But it still doesn’t compare to the pain writhing in my chest, right about where my heart should be. Where nothing but a black hole resides.

“You’ve tied my hands, Ripley. There is nothing more I can do for you.”

“What does that mean?”

Jonathan shrugs. “I can’t risk myself any further.”

“We’re supposed to be family.” My vision blurs with torrential tears.

He spares me another detached glance.

“Why couldn’t you have been normal?”

His words are the final kick in the gut. Years of abandonment slam down on me. The unwanted niece who became the disastrous situation. That’s all he sees me as. That’s all I will ever be.

“Next time you find yourself in a mess, don’t call my office. I can’t help you anymore. I suggest you tread very carefully from here on out.”

My hospital gown soaked from fierce sobs, I watch him stand up. Jonathan brushes off his tailored suit and turns away without another glance.

Tears gather in a pool at the base of my throat as I watch him walk away. My last remaining relative abandons me without any pomp or circumstance. It’s a quiet retreat. The pinnacle of his slow withdrawal from my life—as limited as his presence has been.

And once again, I’m left alone.

It’s been a long time since I allowed myself to completely fall apart without holding anything back. I’ve done everything in my power to hold that inevitable, cataclysmic breakdown at bay.

Hundreds of long, scrubbing showers. Hours spent on the treadmill. Countless splattered canvases. Brawls. Threats. Mask after mask, slotting my bravado in place. Avoiding friendship and intimacy at all costs. These things kept me safe.

Safe from caring.

Safe from getting hurt.

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