Page 111 of Sin Like the Devil

“If you think this hiding crap is going to work, we need to have a serious conversation. I’m shit at hide and seek.”

Not even my terrible joke rouses a response. I curse when I stub my toe on something that feels a lot like a dresser. Bloody thing was jutting out from around the corner. I must be getting closer.

“Talk to me, guava girl. Tell me you’re okay.”

The tip of my stick meets something that isn’t solid wood nor wall. I bend to feel what it is, my fingers depressing into fabric. Her mattress. I’ve located her bed. Her breathing sounds close too.

“You having a pity party without me?” I try again.

A sigh whistles from her. “Go, Raine.”

“Ah, she speaks. I was starting to worry that I’m invading some random girl’s bedroom.”

Stopping next to the bed, I place a hand on the stiff cotton sheets. Warmth radiates from her curled-up form beneath the duvet, tucked into the top corner of the small twin bed. She’s cocooned in a tiny ball and doesn’t react to my touch.

“Thanks for making room for me. Did you hear me coming?”

“Please,” she whispers. “I want to be alone.”

“What you want and what you need are two different things. I know what this is. And I’m not going to leave you in here all alone.”

“Why not? Everyone else does.”

My stomach twists. “Because I’m not everyone else, alright?”

Propping my guide stick against the wall, I easily kick off my shoes. The laces are never tightly fastened to avoid struggling when I dress. Ripley doesn’t protest as I slide back the covers and lower myself into her bed.

With her tiny body tucked against the cold wall, there’s enough room for me to stretch out next to her. But I don’t touch her. Not yet. It’s like those early days after I lost my vision and couldn’t lift myself from the despair I’d sunk into.

Like a terrified animal trapped in a cage, she has to be coaxed out of this state. Nothing but words will work. Ripley thinks she has my number, but I also have hers. She’s always expecting abandonment.

As hot as I find her violent sass and strong headed will, I can see what pain lies beneath it. The way she holds the entire world at arm’s length, so it doesn’t get close enough to matter. She avoids any opportunity for vulnerability.

Until me.

What she gave me was precious.

I’m selfish enough to admit that I chased her for the thrill of it. The way her attitude made my endorphins spike better than any other drug. She makes me feel alive in a world determined to lock me in the darkness.

But more than that, I like her. More than I’ve ever liked anyone. This isn’t just about feeling alive, it’s about feeling whole. And when I’m with her, I don’t feel lacking. I’m complete and present in the world just like everyone else.

“Are you asleep?” I murmur.

“No.”

“Then you can listen.” I moisten my suddenly dry lips. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I told you it wasn’t your fault.”

“They almost killed you.”

She exhales loudly. “I wish they had.”

Her broken admission is another brick on the heavy pile I’m being crushed beneath.

“Don’t say that, Rip.”

“Why not? There would be no one left to mourn me. No parents. No uncle. Not a single family member.”

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