Page 148 of Sin Like the Devil

Raine.

Xander.

Lennox.

Everything has been spiralling out of control since they arrived. Before then, I had a plan. Less than a year left and I could’ve walked away. Now I’m in deep waters.

“If you won’t tell me who, then tell me why.” I stop at the end of the bed. “Why not come to me?”

“Does it matter?” he sighs.

“Yes! I thought you trusted me!”

Raine scrubs a hand over his face and the roughened stubble on his chin. “Please just sit down, okay?”

Still trembling all over, I perch on the end of the bed. Raine moves his covered legs to make space for me. His head is tilted down, eyes unfocused on the hospital sheets.

“You said you’re tired of being the bad guy.”

I blink several times, certain I’ve misheard him before the memories of admitting that float back to me. I felt so broken in that moment, tired of being the source of so much pain.

“So?”

Raine shrugs. “I didn’t want to be another thing for you to feel guilty about. I figured if I bought elsewhere, it might ease some of that burden.”

“So you bought shit heroin from some random to spare my feelings?” I gape at him.

“Erm...” He fights a smile by biting his lip. “Something like that?”

All I can do is stare, stunned to speechlessness by this complicated, enigmatic man with so much damage wrapped up in his pure soul. He really is incredibly stupid but in the most thoughtful way.

“Turns out, you’re the only good dealer in this place.” He laughs at the irony. “I don’t even want to know where those pills were from.”

“I really, really want to punch you right now.”

“I’m blind and bedridden, babe. That’s foul play.”

“You want to schedule in a better time for me to kick your ass?” I quip back. “I’ll clear my diary.”

“It’s a date.”

Brain still whirling, I’m trying to filter through possible options of who could be smuggling pills in from the outside. It’s hard, but not impossible. Some patients have regular visitation.

Raine releases the tube wrapped in his fingers, tentatively stretching out his hand palm up. “So can you forgive me for… uh, almost dying?”

“No! You’re so… so…” I slam my eyes shut to try to hold the tears at bay. “I can’t do this again. I’ve lost everyone I have ever cared about.”

“I know, Rip. I’m sorry.”

The tears escape anyway, trickling down my cheeks with a harsh sting. “Just don’t make me lose you too.”

“You’re not going to. I’m still here.”

“For how long?”

“As long as you need me to be,” he says confidently.

I open my watering eyes and snatch up his hand, needing the comfort. Our fingers thread together. We hold each other tight, neither of us speaking for a few moments before he chuckles under his breath.

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