“If I go back.”
“Where else would you go?” he asks.
I close my eyes, giving myself a brief moment to dream. “Somewhere no one knows my name.”
“You want a fresh start.”
“I want to forget.”
He tilts his head back to rest on the tree. “Does this forgetting plan include erasing me? Your maybe platonic, maybe not, casual hook-up?”
Hesitating, I weigh my response. We haven’t discussed what this is. There’s no formal label and no need to assign one. But I’ve long since discovered that Raine’s confidence conceals bone-deep insecurities. I won’t hurt him with a lie.
“I doubt I could if I tried.”
“I can’t figure out if you’re happy or mad about that,” he admits. “But I’ll take it.”
“Things aren’t so black and white, Raine. You know that. I’m glad you’re here. Isn’t that enough?”
“It’ll always be enough, guava girl. I just…” He trails off with a sigh. “I just wanna know if this means something to you too.”
Turning to face him, I ball the fabric of his shirt in my hand and pull him close. The cool surface of his blacked-out lenses touches my face as my lips peck his.
I’m shitty at this emotional stuff. Any ability I had to be vulnerable was long ago wiped out. But with Raine, when the jokes fall flat and we both turn serious, I want to try. I know he needs that reassurance.
Maybe I do too.
We’re both just afraid.
“This means something to me,” I murmur.
“Entertainment?”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to blow smoke up your ass. But you were pretty good.”
He guffaws. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”
The tension broken, I toy with this t-shirt.
“So… round two?”
“Aren’t you working?”
“Self-employed,” I joke.
“Well, fuck. Little Miss Entrepreneur. Anyone ever tell you how sexy that is?”
“Surprisingly not.”
Several raised voices interrupt our banter. I cast a subtle glance over my shoulder and groan. Rick and a handful of his friends are wandering closer, exchanging heated, angry whispers. Yeah, no thanks.
“Come on.” I release Raine and grab the backpack. “We’ve got company.”
He cocks his head slightly. “Is it that asshole?”
“Rick. Five others too.”
His hand clenches tight around mine as soon as I seize it. Raine’s stick swings from side to side, but he lets me steer our path away from my delivery point and deeper into the institute’s grounds.