Page 148 of Dust to Dust

“Obviously it is if it made you leave the man you love.”

Pinching my eyes shut, I shook my head. “Don’t ask me to tell you. I won’t do it.” A sob tore from my throat. “I can’t do it.”

“Jesus, Isla,” Brooke murmured before she drew me into her arms. “You’re always doing too much to protect me. You should’ve told me this from the start.”

“I was too afraid.” I swiped my eyes. “I’m still afraid, but I knew if I didn’t tell you, it was going to mentally break me.”

She shook her head. “You can’t let him get away with ruining your life, Isla.”

“But there is some truth to the lies I’ve told about leaving Quinn. As much as he tries, he cannot guarantee my safety and in turn, yours and Henry’s. How can I possibly live a life where I’m in constant fear of being kidnapped or having you or Henry kidnapped?”

“You know how I’ve always felt about Quinn’s world.”

“I do.”

“But what kind of life will you be living if you deny yourself the man you love?”

“A safe one.”

Brooke shook her head. “A life lived in fear isn’t a life worth living–”

“Exactly. I couldn’t spend all my time in fear.”

“But you are now, and you don’t have Quinn.”

I opened my mouth to argue with Brooke but then shut it. She was right. I was constantly looking over my shoulder for Mikita. I would be living in fear of him until he died or I died.

At the same time, I was doing it all alone, and I was miserable.

Brooke grabbed my hands in hers. “You don’t have to do this, Isla. We can go to Quinn and tell him the truth. They can take out this bastard Mikita. You can have the happiness you deserve.”

I wanted to believe it was that simple. That I could just run back into Quinn’s waiting arms without any repercussions. Or that it would be easy to take out a Bratva mastermind. Men would die in the conflict. Quinn could die. Or Kellan. Caterina could lose Callum before her daughter was born.

In the end, I just shook my head. “I can’t think about it right now.”

“Always so fucking stubborn.”

I gave her a sad smile. “That I am.”

“Come on. I think we both could use a drink.”

“Liquour store?”

She shook her head. “Let’s use my fake ID and go out.”

Although it was the worst idea possible, I nodded. “Let’s go.”

Chapter Thirty-Six: Isla

For the fifth night in a row, I couldn’t sleep. Although I was exhausted, I tossed and turned, tangling myself in the sheets. Finally, I huffed in frustration and conceded I wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon. Since there was no point in staying in bed, I got up.

After peeking in on Henry, who thankfully was sleeping like an angel, I headed downstairs. Normally, I would’ve taken something, but since I was babysitting Henry, I couldn’t be completely knocked out. I’d pressured Brooke to go out with friends because I was tired of hearing her yell at me to get out of the house. If she was gone, I could wallow in peace.

I headed downstairs to the kitchen. After I prepared the cliched warm milk and downed half a glass, I then curled up on the couch. With the The Golden Girls for background noise, I snuggled into a blanket.

I was floating in that area between wakefulness and sleep when I heard a noise. Straining my ears, I held my breath. I’d forgotten to bring the baby monitor with me, and I hoped it wasn’t Henry waking up early.

When I didn’t hear it again, I started slipping back asleep. But then a bang came from the kitchen, and I bolted upright on the couch.

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