Page 19 of Vipers & Roses

“You were having a coffee with Cormac Bernardi?” Let’s focus on Cormac instead of talking about two years ago when I was damaged beyond repair and now want to destroy those who did it.

"Yeah, do you know him?" he asks cautiously, frowning. I sense fatherly protection, which is good. But I bet he doesn’t think I’m worthy of his champion son.

“Um, yes. We met at the pool. He’s just a friend,” I assure him, even though Cormac has made it clear with subtle flirtations that he wants more. “He invited me to dinner tonight with his swim team for fun.”

He nods, and his eyes drop to the grass as if searching for something to say.

So, I help him out, “Are you Cormac’s uncle or-”

“Father,” he states. “He’s a good kid. The best son a man can have.”

“We have a class together too,” I add, smiling, feeling warmed by his affection for his son, and my mind immediately goes to my father, who I’ll see tomorrow when I drive out to see him. “And yes, I agree, he’s a good man.” Not that I know his son that well, but any fool can see that Cormac is decent and mature.

He nods, becoming distant, and I wonder what his real purpose of finding me is.

“He’s quite serious, your son,” I say, trying to ease the uncomfortable atmosphere. “Like the burden of training is too much sometimes.”

Gabe’s eyes hone onto my face and linger there, and my comfort levels drop due to the intensity of his stare. Did I say something wrong?

“Yeah, he can take life too seriously at times,” he says under his breath, repeating what I just said. “But that has a lot to do with his mother.”

“Oh? She’s the serious one in the family,” I state, noticing Gabe becoming impatient as he takes a deep breath.

“Anyway, it’s good to see you looking well and happy,” he tells me and falters a couple of beats before adding, “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but ah,” he exhales again, and there’s an urge in me to run, so I can’t hear what he’s about to say, “it was one of those cases that kept me up at night.”

I nod as my breath hitches in my chest, and my jaw clenches to stop tears from forming. The pain. The fucking pain is so consuming that it feels like my organs are blistering from intense heat.

“I would’ve liked to have seen justice done,” he adds, because I can’t speak right now. “Maybe one day that will happen.”

I nod again, struggling not only to find the words but also to say them without self-combusting into a million pieces.

“Anyway,” he says, turning partly away from me, “it’s good to see you looking happy.”

Do I look happy? I sure as hell don’t feel happy. Now he’s picked off the scab to my wound and let it bleed, draining me of energy. My head pounds from clenching my jaw to stop the tears from falling. Why does seeing the man who saved me hurt more than seeing the man who damaged me?

“See you around,” Gabe says, turning his back and walking away. But just as he comes to the corner where he’ll disappear forever, I open my mouth, and a weird, desperate croak comes out. It comes from a place swollen with fear and pain deep down inside of me.

That body freezes, and he turns back to me. “Did you say something?”

I can’t look at him and respond by shaking my head as if to say, “Nothing.”

“Are you okay, Rae?” he asks smoothly, stepping closer.

I place my fingers over my lips and keep my eyes low to avoid contact with his. “Um,” I caw behind my fingers.

He moves in closer, and the burn of his presence radiates over my skin, making me shiver and sweat at once. This must be what it feels like to be in the core of the sun, or maybe I am the core of the sun -the black hole surrounded by heat and light.

It happens quickly, and I don’t have time to react, but one second, he’s in front of me, and the next, he takes a step across my boundary and surrounds me. All I see, breathe and feel is him. His body crashes against mine, and I’m cocooned in his tight embrace.

“Relax,” he whispers calmly in my ear as he rubs my back. My breath catches in my chest as emotions bubble up to the surface like a volcano close to erupting.

“It hurts so bad,” I breathe into his shirt.

“I know it does,” he soothes me slowly, still rubbing my back. “Take deep breaths, Rae. That’s it. Deep breaths.”

With his guidance, I take deep breaths and inhale his cologne. After three intakes, my body relaxes against his. “That’s it,” he croons, still holding me as my cheek rests against his shoulder and my arms latch around his firm body.

He starts to sway a little as if we’re slow-dancing to a lazy beat, and I close my eyes, feeling my body sink deeper into his. Images of my brothers shuffle through my mind when we were young. Max and I were as thick thieves, and then little Rory came along to complete the Mischief Squad. I had the luckiest childhood, yet guilt scours my stomach every day that I can’t be around my parents like I used to. I can’t do it. Every moment spent with them reminds me that my innocent soul was blackened of ill disrepute, and it remains blackened to this day. It’s not my fault that it happened, but it’s my burden to bear.

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