Page 13 of Better Than Expected

It looked good enough to eat.

The – the batter did.

“How did you even do this?” She’d tilted her head down at Caroline, breathing in the same warm air in the room.

Caroline had cleared her throat before speaking, “I guess my baking ability is one thing you will never have to hear Abbie loving about me. It’s just everything else you’ll have to be annoyed at.”

Hannah had stared at Caroline, hearing the self-deprecating tone. She knew Caroline had meant it as a joke, but she also knew Caroline, and she knew that there was more behind it. She knew that Caroline felt badly that Abbie idolized her so much instead of Hannah herself, and the thing was… it might have bothered Hannah if it was anyone else, too.

It was how the endeared, affectionate smile took over her face as she’d stroked the skin under her hand on Caroline’s chest. “It would be annoying, if I didn’t agree with everything she says about you.”

Caroline had scoffed and shaken her head, and she knew Caroline was going to rebuff her words.

There had been a strong, urgent need for Caroline to just – for her to understand where Hannah was coming from. That she meant everything she said. For her to know how vital she was, instead of working to the bone for everyone around her and always downplaying it.

She’d flattened her hand against Caroline’s chest, and she’d never touched her there, before. She didn’t know why it registered so strongly in her brain, but it had. She knew she’d never touched Caroline here, never felt how soft the skin of her chest was. Never felt how warm she was, right above her big heart. Felt how that heart raced, right against the palm of her hand.

She felt Caroline’s breath stutter out against her face as she’d insisted, “If I could have my daughter look up to anyone in our lives, I would choose you. And you aren’t allowed to brush this off.”

And in that moment, as Caroline had looked up at her with wide, uncertain eyes, she needed her to see how important she was.

Because at this stage of her life, she meant… she’d meant that she wanted Abbie to look up to Caroline even more than having Abbie look up to herself. Because Hannah – well, she knew she’d had her reasons for staying with Michael for so long, but it didn’t help her sleep at night.

She was doing better, now, but she’d been angry at herself for a long time. Hannah regretted so many of her choices, and she’d lived in those regrets even after they compounded upon themselves.

Caroline, she was different.

She pressed her hand more firmly against Caroline’s chest, feeling the vitality in the heartbeat under her fingers. “You are strong and smart and gorgeous and good.”

She’d stroked her fingers over the skin there, just feeling the meaning of those words settle inside of her own chest. Because she had meant them, every single one in equal measure.

Caroline was those things. She was strong enough to fight all of her own battles and shoulder so many others. To help Hannah, to be there for Abbie, to be the one her parents relied on the most whenever they struggled. For all of the rest of her clients like Hannah, the ones who needed her.

She was smart enough to handle it all and do it with grace.

She was so, so gorgeous, with all of the different smiles she had. Hannah knew all of those smiles by now, and each one had a shade of meaning.

And most of all, she was so good. Her goodness was in every action, every moment.

She was so much more than Hannah could have ever fathomed before really knowing her. She was so much more than she gave herself credit for. She was just so much more, Hannah thought, as she looked down into wide, brown eyes, as she felt Caroline’s heartbeat staccato under her hand.

This was Caroline. Who had cut Michael off at the knees, who worked into late hours in the night and shifted around her schedule to help not just Hannah and Abbie, but everyone else.

This was Caroline, whose sheer strength and will and composure had inspired Hannah herself to keep on going in her own life. To keep picking up the pieces she’d been missing and really put herself together.

This was Caroline, who was brilliant and sweet and beautiful inside and out, and…

“You’re kind of my hero, too,” she whispered, not even realizing the words snuck out of her throat.

Hannah hadn’t realized she’d closed her eyes again as she thought over the night’s events, but they snapped open again as she sat up sharply in bed, her own heart racing.

No, no it hadn’t been Caroline at all who had initiated it. Not really. Maybe she’d leaned in, but… but it had been Hannah herself all along.

Telling Caroline how beautiful she was? Saying she was Hannah’s own personal hero?!

She hadn’t even realized that her hand had been so close to Caroline’s chest, her fingers touching the tops of her breasts until this moment, and she could still feel the sensation on her fingers like a phantom. She could still taste her breath, feel the way her full lips had been just a whisper away from Hannah’s own.

She stood from her bed quickly, unable to lay so still when it felt like her world was spinning, her blood rushing.

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