Page 45 of Born into Chaos

He wraps Samantha in a towel and puts her in my arms while I say, “Sure. Should I go ahead and give her one more bottle when I’m done?”

“Yeah, and then once she falls asleep, the clock starts ticking. She’ll be up every three to four hours until the sun comes up.”

I force a big smile. “Wonderful.”

He gives a soft laugh at my forced enthusiasm and empties her baby tub. While he grabs some clothes and gets into the shower, I work on getting Samantha ready for her bedtime bottle. Taking care of her is starting to feel normal, and it’s so hard to believe that she’s only just recently come into my life. I know that realistically I need to not get attached, but when I’m buttoning up her sleeper and she gives me another big gummy smile, I know it’s impossible to keep my heart out of this. She’s already stolen it, just like Vitya has.

“I’m in so much trouble,” I tell her as I pick her up and walk her into the kitchen to grab her bottle. When it’s ready and she’s happily drinking, I walk her back into the bedroom and sit on the bed with my back propped up against the headboard. The shower is still running, so I keep quietly talking to Samantha.

“Maybe you could try sleeping a little better tonight,” I tell her. “Vitya wasn’t wrong. I do get really cranky when I’m tired, and I think it’s important that he only sees my good side right now.”

Her eyes start to drift closed, but I’m confident she’s still listening, so I keep going.

“Also, the longer you sleep in your crib, the longer I get to sleep in this bed with Vitya, so maybe help a girl out tonight.”

She lets out a soft sigh and empties the last of her bottle, already drifting off to sleep. Trying not to disturb her, I gently lift her up to my shoulder and softly pat her back. I’m still working on trying to get a burp out of her when the bathroom door opens and Vitya steps out. Myhand stills mid-pat when I see his wet hair and the tight, black T-shirt he’s wearing. His inked arms are on full display, and instead of his usual jeans, he’s wearing grey joggers. I swallow past my dry throat and try not to stare at his obvious package. He’s not hard, but it’sthere,and it’s not easy to pull my eyes away.

“Has she burped yet?”

“Huh?” I ask, still wondering if the nudes I’ve drawn of him are accurate or not.

“Has she burped yet?” he repeats, walking over so he’s standing next to us.

My eyes drift down because they’ve got a mind of their own, and it’s really his fault for standing so damn close to me. He sighs and reaches down to take Samantha from me, patting her back while I ogle his junk. She lets out a soft whimper and then burps before he sets her down in the crib.

“Get ready for bed, Sveta. We need to sleep whenever she is.”

I’m usually not one for taking orders, but it’s either get my ass out of this room or keep gawking at his dick. My pride can’t take the hit, so I grab some pajamas and rush for the bathroom. Knowing I’ll sleep better after a shower, I take a quick one and then brush my teeth. Instead of sleeping naked like I’d threatened, I stick with sleep shorts and a tank. Since he’s teasing me with his grey joggers, I figure it’s only fair to skip the bra.

Before I lose my nerve, I step out, hiding my disappointment when the light is out and he’s already under the covers. There’s a nightlight in the corner, giving me enough to see by, and when I’m close enough to notice that he’s already lying on his side and facing away from me, I let out a heavy sigh of frustration and disappointment and crawl under the covers, wishing the bed wasn’t king-sized.

“I’ll take the first feeding,” he whispers.

“Fine,” I whisper back, and I swear I hear him give a soft laugh at the tone of my voice.

I try to fall asleep, I really do, but it’s not happening, and when I keep tossing around, he groans and flips over.

“Jesus Christ, Sveta, go to sleep.”

“I’m trying,” I mutter, flinging off the blankets that are starting to feel stifling. The truth is I’m horny. I’m really fucking horny, and I can’t stop thinking about how damn close his body is to mine. There’s two years of sexual frustration inside me right now and it’s about to come out and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it.

“Vitya,” I start to say, but he’s quick to cut me off. It’s like he can sense how close I am to losing control.

“Don’t,” he whispers, and it’s more of a plea than a command.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” I scoot closer to him, but he holds up his hand, the outline of it barely visible from the nightlight’s glow. “Did you seriously put your hand up to stop me?”

“I did, and you need to stop, Sveta. This can’t happen. Not now, not ever.”

His words sting, but instead of backing away, I keep scooting closer, because despite the words coming out of his mouth, I hear the longing in them. I know he wants this just as much as I do. He might be afraid to make the first move, but I’m not, so that’s exactly what I do. I ignore his ridiculous hand barrier and cup his face while I hike one of my legs over his until I’m on top of him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses at me.

A laugh escapes before I can stop it, because we both know I never would’ve gotten this far if he hadn’t allowed it. He’s far stronger than I am, and he could’ve stopped me at any time, but he didn’t. With my body on top of his, it’s impossible for me to not notice how hard he is, and I feel a thrill of satisfaction when I realize that he’s just as miserable as I am.

Before he can come to his senses and toss me off, I close the distance and press my lips to his. The lips that I’ve thought about kissing so many times are just as soft as I knew they would be. His body freezes at my touch, and he lets out a pained groan when I run my tongue along the seam of his lips. He’s too stubborn to open his mouth, so I suck and nibble on one lip at a time, until he finally cups the back of my head and gives in to what he’sfeeling.

The feral-sounding groan he gives as he parts his lips and kisses me back has me rocking my hips against him. I’ve never done anything before, but just because I don’t have any experience, doesn’t mean my body doesn’t know what to do. Instincts take over as my tongue runs along his and my fingers thread through his hair.

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